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Originally Posted by jamincan
NM - lio responded himself.
Thanks for explaining your point with more clarity. I don't think that's an unreasonable comparison to make in that context and apologize for basically calling you a bigot.
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Don't worry about that. I could see you had misunderstood my point so I didn't actually believe you considered me a bigot even when it looked like you did.
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I will argue that there is a fundamental difference in that an accent is not an immutable characteristic. It is certainly something that's hard to change, nor should you feel compelled to change it, but training yourself to speak a new way is possible nor is it unnatural. It's just hard. Taking on a straight persona when you are gay is certainly possible, but it is fundamental unnatural.
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— orientation is an immutable characteristic, but I'd argue that an unilingual adult's native tongue is VERY close to being one as well. (Out of curiosity, are you fluent in any other language(s)?)
I could honestly see myself doing okay in a gay-centric world that is very intolerant of heteros. (Reversing society's old views in order to put myself in the shoes of a gay person who has to hide it, while being the real me of today.) I'd be married in an union of convenience to a nice looking guy that I'd be sugar daddy to (we wouldn't do anything —, I'd let him cheat with male partners, obviously; I'd want him to be satisfied and happy), I'd show up holding his hand to social events, officially we'd be a happy successful couple, in reality we'd be good friends (I wouldn't dislike his company, wouldn't have married that one otherwise!). I'd secretly go to extremely private and discreet clubs, probably illegal, where I could flirt with, and bang, women, ideally always the same one(s) who would be my stable undercover relationship lover(s).
Having to life my life like this would be somewhat annoying and certainly not ideal but if I had to pick between that or achieving total fluency soonish in both spoken and written Mandarin otherwise I'm toast in terms of career/business, I think all things considered I would make the choice of pretending to be just as gay as all other men (in that alternate universe).
(The above is just a thought experiment, don't jump to conclusions from it, even though I do mean every word.)