The Ugly Canada Thread - Page 151

O-tacular · #**3001** Posted **Oct 27, 2015, 6:10 PM**

Quote:

Originally Posted by Acajack

Why would Résidences Soleil never be allowed in Calgary? Generally speaking, the city development approvals process doesn't take aesthetics into account unless it's a historic district with a specific look that has to be preserved. Am I not right?

There is a design committee at least for the Beltline that would likely make recommendations for changes. Nothing's binding but the city usually takes their opinion into consideration. I mean if some crazy developer was hellbent on building a Laval-like monstrosity technically I guess they could. But for a few reasons I will elaborate on, I don't think they would.

Calgary isn't free from hokey, faux historic design but it tends to look different. An example of a recent eye gouger from the Beltline is this building that houses the Pint pub. Our own miniature clocktower, though much less elaborate.

In general though our buildings that harken back to historical 'styles' tend to fit into the theme we in Calgary call Stampitecture. The reason we call it that is in the early 00's the city had a misguided policy requiring new towers being built near the Stampede grounds to incorporate red brick or sandstone like materials into their podiums to blend in with a few remaining 100 year old warehouses nearby. It was called the warehouse district. The results were ghastly. This style also tends to be the go-to theme for the Stampede. It's like a fake western version of Laval's fake French mansard roofed, village clock tower, commie block.

This would be our version of the Residences Soleil. Vantage Pointe with an e at the end to be pretentious and because the developer was called Pointe of View. Note the red brick podium. It is not near the Stampede or even required to have this red brick but jumped on the red brick bandwagon at the time and that's why you get all these useless bricked arches.

It's fat and ugly but for totally different reasons. It's early 2000's Pomo and it dominates the west side of the Beltline like no other building.

There is however one example of a building that went up within the last 10 years that had a mansard roof and was also geared towards old people (though not a retirement home like Residences Soleil). These twin towers perch atop a mall in NW Calgary that is home to the biggest old people Mecca in the city (Northhill SEARS). If it mated with the other two examples above you might get a Laval Clocktower.

Thankfully design has moved leaps and bounds ahead in this city in the last 10 years. It's not even that one couldn't build the Clocktower of Doom. It's that it wouldn't be proposed in the first place because everyone in the field has upped their game to a different level.

O-tacular · #**3002** Posted **Oct 27, 2015, 6:28 PM**

Here's an example of an ugly condo that's now nearing completion that actually could have been much worse but was told to change the exterior from beige stucco to glass by the city after recommendations from the design committee. The end product is still terrible with an incomprehensible dark blue spandrel and glass, but at least it's not suburban beige stucco.

Old version of Live on the Park:

Built version:

The worst case scenario beyond the beige stucco would have been if they had carried on the yellow brick from the pill box themed podium straight to the top.

O-tacular · #**3003** Posted **Oct 27, 2015, 6:36 PM**

Quote:

Originally Posted by MolsonExport

Let's discuss measuring ugliness in Canada.

For buildings, the floor is Laval Clocktower. They just don't get uglier.
For music, the floor is Nickelback. No sound is worse than Nickelback (which basically is equivalent to battery acid in the ears).
For politicians, the floor is Rob Ford. Nobody could repeatedly stoop so low and yet remain in their leadership capacity.

Agreed on all counts. I guess for the obvious reasons (crack) Rob Ford would be worse than Stephen Harper. I think there should be a distinction though. As terrible as Ford was he had a goofball semi likability that was the result of his comedic ineptitude (walking into cameras etc.). He was like a reincarnation of Chris Farley. Stephen Harper OTOH has no charisma or likability. His malice and pure disdain for his surroundings is more on par with the Laval Clocktower than RoFo's low brow party animal persona. RoFo would be an apt comparison to your local Hooters, or the CrossIron Mills malls, or West Edmonton Mall. Something tacky but fun.

O-tacular · #**3004** Posted **Oct 28, 2015, 12:32 AM**

Quote:

Originally Posted by advance62

Just proposed for Waterloo:

Since this was brought up in the Proposals thread I thought I'd bump it from earlier in this thread and try using our new rating system.

On a scale of 1-10 with the Laval clock tower being a ten I'd rate this a 5.5.

On the musical Nickelback scale I'd give it 5 Chad Kroeger heads?

Uh... I think we need to perfect this Molson....

Is the Kroeger scale the same as the Clocktower scale? What about the Rob Ford scale?

kwoldtimer · #**3005** Posted **Oct 28, 2015, 12:38 AM**

Quote:

Originally Posted by O-tacular

Since this was brought up in the Proposals thread I thought I'd bump it from earlier in this thread and try using our new rating system.

On a scale of 1-10 with the Laval clock tower being a ten I'd rate this a 5.5.

On the musical Nickelback scale I'd give it 5 Chad Kroeger heads?

Uh... I think we need to perfect this Molson....

Is the Kroeger scale the same as the Clocktower scale? What about the Rob Ford scale?

Is it like the Richter scale, with each increase of 1 representing a ten-fold increase in ugliness?

MolsonExport · #**3006** Posted **Oct 28, 2015, 12:38 AM**

In the grand scheme of things, Clocktower>Nickelback>Rob Ford

But if we are talking about buildings, Clocktower is the appropriate scale.
...people, Nickelback is the appropriate scale.
...politicians, RoFo is the appropriate scale*

*notable exception when applying to unsmiling, robotic politicians, which must use the Harper scale (in America: the Cheney Scale).

And yes, as documented earlier in this thread, it is a Richter-type (rather, magnitude moment) scale (logarithmic) in that each integer increment implies a tenfold increase over the previous integer. Thus 10 is 10 times more powerful than a 9, whereas 9 is 10 times more powerful than an 8..., ...

The theoretical upper limit is 10 (Clocktower of Doom).

SignalHillHiker · #**3007** Posted **Oct 28, 2015, 12:51 AM**

Rob Ford was pretty harmless. And he humanize do TO a lot. I don't think the world or ROC thought the city could create such a hilarious shitshow.

Our best entries are probably The Rooms, which I'd give a solid 9 on your scale, that chick who won that knock off version of American Idol solely based on NLers supporting her with call-in votes, it was before Canadian Idol. She went on to do awful country music in AB I think. She's a proper 8. And for politicians it would have to be Joey, our dictator from 49 to the 70s.

kwoldtimer · #**3008** Posted **Oct 28, 2015, 12:54 AM**

Quote:

Originally Posted by SignalHillHiker

Rob Ford was pretty harmless. And he humanize do TO a lot. I don't think the world or ROC thought the city could create such a hilarious shitshow.

Our best entries are probably The Rooms, which I'd give a solid 9 on your scale, that chick who won that knock off version of American Idol solely based on NLers supporting her with call-in votes, it was before Canadian Idol. She went on to do awful country music in AB I think. She's a proper 8. And for politicians it would have to be Joey, our dictator from 49 to the 70s.

You really didn't follow Toronto municipal politics during the Ford years, I see.

SignalHillHiker · #**3009** Posted **Oct 28, 2015, 12:58 AM**

Oh I meant harmless to the rest of us. As opposed to Harper, whose reach was broader. I've no idea what he did to TO beyond being a car-centric suburbanite.

O-tacular · #**3010** Posted **Oct 28, 2015, 1:23 AM**

Quote:

Originally Posted by SignalHillHiker

Oh I meant harmless to the rest of us. As opposed to Harper, whose reach was broader. I've no idea what he did to TO beyond being a car-centric suburbanite.

Funny enough it took a Rob Ford for the U.S. to notice us for an iota second. Says a lot about that country. Then again Trump is running for President. I agree it was hilarious from the outside looking in though.

O-tacular · #**3011** Posted **Oct 28, 2015, 1:28 AM**

Quote:

Originally Posted by MolsonExport

In the grand scheme of things, Clocktower>Nickelback>Rob Ford

But if we are talking about buildings, Clocktower is the appropriate scale.
...people, Nickelback is the appropriate scale.
...politicians, RoFo is the appropriate scale*

*notable exception when applying to unsmiling, robotic politicians, which must use the Harper scale (in America: the Cheney Scale).

And yes, as documented earlier in this thread, it is a Richter-type (rather, magnitude moment) scale (logarithmic) in that each integer increment implies a tenfold increase over the previous integer. Thus 10 is 10 times more powerful than a 9, whereas 9 is 10 times more powerful than an 8..., ...

The theoretical upper limit is 10 (Clocktower of Doom).

Oh ok then.

I agree with you SignalHillHiker, the Rooms merits a solid 9 on the Clocktower scale. Applying this same rating to previous worst offenders I'd suggest that the Venetian in Edmonton is a solid 8 on the Clocktower scale. The only thing holding it back from being a full 9 is its relative lack of exposure outside the street in front of it.

Calgary's (Balzac actually) Cross Iron Mills scores a solid 8 as well.

O-tacular · #**3012** Posted **Oct 30, 2015, 2:55 AM**

Landed in Montreal around supper and got to see Sauron's tower from the air. I also got to see it's ugly spawn later in the evening driving towards the tunnel to Boucherville. All I could see at first was the dark outline of what I thought was a group of buildings with a glowing clock in the middle of them. It was the clocktower's bastard child! I think it was this thing. The clock face glowed like some baleful eye.

https://www.google.ca/search?q=residence...yAIVzGg-Ch0L8AN6#imgrc=VgdmxPxBWLWVNM%3A

MolsonExport · #**3013** Posted **Oct 30, 2015, 1:43 PM**

There are a multitude of Résidences Soleil: http://www.residencessoleil.ca/liste-des-residences-soleil

Quote:

Parcourez la liste de nos résidences afin de découvrir la Résidence Soleil la mieux adaptée à vos besoins.

Les Résidences Soleil observent des standards de qualité élevés pour les soins et services. Chacune de nos résidences vous offre un environnement sécuritaire 24 heures sur 24, des repas frais et équilibrés et de nombreux loisirs et commodités.
Chaque résidence de soleil a sa propre tour de l'horloge , pour vous aider à décompter les heures restantes dans votre vie .

Manoir Sainte-Julie

O-tacular · #**3014** Posted **Oct 30, 2015, 2:10 PM**

Quote:

Originally Posted by MolsonExport

There are a multitude of Résidences Soleil: http://www.residencessoleil.ca/liste-des-residences-soleil

Manoir Sainte-Julie

Lol! I take it you added in the last sentence?

Acajack · #**3015** Posted **Oct 30, 2015, 2:19 PM**

Quote:

Originally Posted by O-tacular

Landed in Montreal around supper and got to see Sauron's tower from the air. I also got to see it's ugly spawn later in the evening driving towards the tunnel to Boucherville. All I could see at first was the dark outline of what I thought was a group of buildings with a glowing clock in the middle of them. It was the clocktower's bastard child! I think it was this thing. The clock face glowed like some baleful eye.

https://www.google.ca/search?q=residence...yAIVzGg-Ch0L8AN6#imgrc=VgdmxPxBWLWVNM%3A

Sounds like an emotional moment for you!

O-tacular · #**3016** Posted **Oct 30, 2015, 3:09 PM**

There were some interesting individuals on my flight to Montreal. Like this guy who couldn't be bothered to use his legs and rode everywhere on this mini Segway holding a chihuahua in a pink carrier as his skanky girlfriend who picked him up had to haul all his luggage. Pure class. On the douche scale I'd rank him 10 Nickelbacks.

Bitch please!

Then there was this guy with a butterfly painted (tattooed?) on his face. Must have been an awesome party.

O-tacular · #**3017** Posted **Oct 30, 2015, 3:13 PM**

Quote:

Originally Posted by Acajack

Sounds like an emotional moment for you!

It was almost like a pilgrimage.

Acajack · #**3018** Posted **Oct 31, 2015, 10:37 PM**

Quote:

Originally Posted by Acajack

In Gatineau it's always been ''Halloween Apple" for some reason. It kinda surprised us when we first moved here from Ontario.

You also hear ''Joyeuse Halloween, bonbons s'il-vous-plaît''... and ''trick or treat" here and there.

But over 80% of kids say the apple thing.

OK so we're about an hour into the event and I have to revise this.

''Halloween Apple'' has almost disappeared for some reason.

It's ''Joyeuse Halloween'' all the way tonight.

I don't know what happened.

begratto · #**3019** Posted **Nov 1, 2015, 2:36 PM**

Quote:

Originally Posted by Acajack

OK so we're about an hour into the event and I have to revise this.

''Halloween Apple'' has almost disappeared for some reason.

It's ''Joyeuse Halloween'' all the way tonight.

I don't know what happened.

I have never heard "Halloween Apple" in Montreal. We are about the same age, so it isn't a generations thing: it must be a Gatineau or Outaouais thing.

Here it has always been "Joyeuse Halloween".

Acajack · #**3020** Posted **Nov 1, 2015, 2:37 PM**

Quote:

Originally Posted by begratto

I have never heard "Halloween Apple" in Montreal. We are about the same age, so it isn't a generations thing: it must be a Gatineau or Outaouais thing.

Here it has always been "Joyeuse Halloween".

How do you know we're about the same age?