Here's a somewhat interesting commentary from the
Montgomery Advertiser about a conversation between the cities of Montgomery and Atlanta...
Vanzetta McPherson: A tale of three cities
June 18, 2008
The last time I was in the Twilight Zone, I found myself at the annual convention of the Southern League of Cities -- attended this time by the cities themselves. I overheard the following intriguing exchange:
Atlanta: Montgomery! It's great to see you back. It's been what? 150 years? You had a remarkable run of international publicity, what with that firing on Fort Sumter, Jeff Davis involving us in what we now call "the digression of secession", pioneering electric street cars, and of course, that nasty business with Rosa Parks.
We've all had our challenges, but you have to admit I've have made some pretty impressive strides.
Montgomery: I got sidetracked, along with the rest of the state, when a lawyer turned governor named Wallace decided to exploit the bigotry that divided my people to stay in office as long as he could. Then I had a brain transplant and went from a cerebrum of city commissioners to one with a mayor and a council. It was a good move, but it took years to get the kinks out. I just started sleeping all night in the past 5-6 years.
Atlanta: You sure have missed a boatload of progress. You know, you and Birmingham were on the short list for the gateway airport over 45 years ago. If you hadn't been so threatened by unions and integration, you could have had direct flights to every major American city, and you'd have professional sports, an Olympic Village, a huge tax base, Hank Aaron, CNN -- and you might have kept Dr. King!
Montgomery: Oh, shut up. Besides, bigger isn't always better, and you aren't fooling anybody with that "too busy to hate" routine of yours. I was watching when you underwent major surgery over gay rights some years ago. If you must know, I came to the convention to do some headhunting in advance.
Atlanta: In advance of what?
Montgomery: I might lose my mayor in the next six months. You can't trust the feds. As soon as we groom them, Congress, with its national pulpit, entices them with power and steals them away. Last week, Birmingham was at a DNC meeting in Washington, and guess who came to dinner?
Atlanta: I know just what you mean. I lost one to the United Nations and another to investment banking, until he realized that the mayoralty was more fun. But look at it this way: It's better to lose one to federal office than lose one to federal prison. When is your mayor leaving?
Montgomery: Well, it isn't a sure thing. I just like to be prepared, especially since he's altered my image so positively, despite what you and these other Architectural Digest snobs may think. Today, I have minor league baseball, America's only Hyundai plant, and riverfront development. For your information, by next year, my residents will have their choice of downtown sidewalk cafés!
But more importantly, they are starting to come together to fulfill a single agenda. It's a really sensitive time, and there's a lot of unfinished business. The wrong person could set me back 10 years, so I want to talk to you and the others to figure out how you did it.
Atlanta: I wish I could give you a formula, but there isn't one. You're headed in the right direction, but you still have some big problems, no matter who your mayor is. Your public school system is chronically underfunded, your revenue base is way too dependent on sales taxes, and you've got all that unincorporated land in your county. Did you know that Pike Road was up in Buckhead last week talking to some developers?
Montgomery: That's why I'm so concerned. I've been waiting on somebody to start the conversation about occupational taxes. Like you, I'm the state capital, but I'm hemorrhaging every day at 5 o'clock.
Until a couple of years ago, I was King of the Hill. Then my two biggest satellites got smart and now, they've built million dollar homes, strip malls, Wal-Marts, and gambling casinos. My weekend traffic is way down, and my retailers are hurting. I can't even turn most of my own money around, because city employees aren't required to live within my limits.
Atlanta: That's a bad scene, Monty.
Montgomery: Well, I'd rather think of it as an opportunity. Hey, there's Richmond! We have so much in common. I'll bet she can help.
Atlanta: I doubt it, but be sure to ask her about Monument Avenue!
To be continued.
Vanzetta Penn McPherson is a retired U.S. magistrate judge for the Middle District of Alabama. Her column will appear every other week. Send e-mail to [email protected].
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