Ugly Canada 2 (Only architecture, planning and design faux pas)

[Gresto]

Originally Posted by Wigs

PooP (once you see it, you cannot unsee it)

For a minute or two, I was wondering what I was missing. Is the bloke in the foreground disposing of a dead hooker?

[O-tacular]

It appears the poop house has been repainted with guano:

https://www.reddit.com/r/Omaha/comments/vca1y3/poop/

[O-tacular]

Came across a hilarious retail / commercial combo while searching out playgrounds for my kids the other day.

Who doesn't want to drop their kids off at an indoor playground next to a strip club?

https://www.google.com/maps/place/Calgar..._ep=EgoyMDI2MDQxNS4wIKXMDSoASAFQAw%3D%3D

https://www.google.com/maps/place/Calgar..._ep=EgoyMDI2MDQxNS4wIKXMDSoASAFQAw%3D%3D

https://www.google.com/maps/place/Calgar..._ep=EgoyMDI2MDQxNS4wIKXMDSoASAFQAw%3D%3D

Maybe they cater to a small captive market of 'working moms' and or divorced dads?

[O-tacular]

Shades of baby poop coloured stucco on a new residential building in North Calgary:

[Wigs]

Is that EIFS? It'll look even worse within a decade. Not durable for Canadian climates in my opinion.

[O-tacular]

Originally Posted by Wigs

Is that EIFS? It'll look even worse within a decade. Not durable for Canadian climates in my opinion.

I think it is. You mean this product I posted from an under construction highrise in the Beltline using EIFS panels doesn't look like it's enduring the climate to you?

Originally Posted by O-tacular

Welcome to Soviet "Calbertastan!



This new rental tower went all in on the EIFS stucco panels:



https://calgary.skyrisecities.com/forum/...6m-20s-amble-ventures-norr.28156/page-12

Looks dirty and decrepit before construction has even finished.

Here's a more recent view:




It looks dirty, faded and like it is decades old before the building even opens to tenants.

[Gresto]

Has this thing been posted here yet? "Cathedraltown" in Markham, Ont. Looks culty, and the cathedral is hideous. https://maps.app.goo.gl/GTz5wm7uAggCo7mj9

[jonny24]

It was definitely posted in the Soul-Sucking thread at some point.

[Pavlov]

Its too bad because the built form is actually pretty great for a suburb (even has a dramatic view terminus). Its just the details (or pathological lack of any details) that sinks it.

[O-tacular]

Originally Posted by Gresto

Has this thing been posted here yet? "Cathedraltown" in Markham, Ont. Looks culty, and the cathedral is hideous. https://maps.app.goo.gl/GTz5wm7uAggCo7mj9

That church was actually featured in John Carpenter’s In The Mouth of Madness.



It also falls within Clockzilla’s evil sphere of influence:

[O-tacular]

To further answer your question Gresto, yes that weird suburb was shared in this thread many years ago. Going by the date of my photoshop it was 9 years ago. I was going to guess a decade, so I was close. Starting to feel old finding Clockzillas of the past. What's crazy is I thought that was a more recent one, but the OG Clockzilla attack meme was from April 21, 2015. 11 years of Eddy Savoie's nightmare.

[O-tacular]

Found a really bad early photoshop of Chadorah battling Clockzilla with Mississauga city hall inexplicably centered in the foreground of a Montreal neighbourhood. Thought Molson might appreciate this even if it isn't my best work.

[O-tacular]

Originally Posted by Pavlov

Its too bad because the built form is actually pretty great for a suburb (even has a dramatic view terminus). Its just the details (or pathological lack of any details) that sinks it.

What it is for me is the monochromatic colour of everything from the road, the sidewalk to the brick of the buildings. It's like a beige, daylight version of The Backrooms. And why are the trees still so small?

[Loco101]

Unbelievably bland. The one red car is the only hope.

[O-tacular]

This sidewalk makes me irrationally angry:

https://maps.app.goo.gl/ihiNybX2ednws2xAA

[AuxTown]

I was jealous of all the awesome building monsters so I had AI create one for me, Ottawazilla! Can anyone guess what ojectively ugly buildings my monster takes its design language from?

[megadude]

Originally Posted by O-tacular

Came across a hilarious retail / commercial combo while searching out playgrounds for my kids the other day.

Who doesn't want to drop their kids off at an indoor playground next to a strip club?

https://www.google.com/maps/place/Calgar..._ep=EgoyMDI2MDQxNS4wIKXMDSoASAFQAw%3D%3D

https://www.google.com/maps/place/Calgar..._ep=EgoyMDI2MDQxNS4wIKXMDSoASAFQAw%3D%3D

https://www.google.com/maps/place/Calgar..._ep=EgoyMDI2MDQxNS4wIKXMDSoASAFQAw%3D%3D

Maybe they cater to a small captive market of 'working moms' and or divorced dads?

Some cities have bylaws for that. We used to lend on a property in Kitchener where a cannabis store was fixturing and their leased commenced but it turns out it was too close to a school. The company had to break the lease and pay a termination fee to the landlord of like a hundred grand. Then they moved 3 units down into that vacant unit, which was just far enough from the school.

I also got a hotel room with my two buddies on the way to Ann Arbor, Michigan. We got it in suburban Detroit at midnight. We really didn't do our research and we waited too long. It was next to a strip club. We turned on the TV and the only thing it played was black and white amateur porn. We had to join the two double beds together and sleep three of us on there and I drew the middle. In retrospect, we would have felt better if we had slept in the car unlocked Downtown.

[O-tacular]

Originally Posted by AuxTown

I was jealous of all the awesome building monsters so I had AI create one for me, Ottawazilla! Can anyone guess what ojectively ugly buildings my monster takes its design language from?

A couple years ago I tried to see what craiyon could produce that looked like Clockzilla. This is a better attempt lol! No generative ai can possibly match the visual abomination that is Laval's Residences Soleil though.

Out of curiosity what Ottawa building is that supposed to be?

[O-tacular]

Originally Posted by megadude

Some cities have bylaws for that. We used to lend on a property in Kitchener where a cannabis store was fixturing and their leased commenced but it turns out it was too close to a school. The company had to break the lease and pay a termination fee to the landlord of like a hundred grand. Then they moved 3 units down into that vacant unit, which was just far enough from the school.

I also got a hotel room with my two buddies on the way to Ann Arbor, Michigan. We got it in suburban Detroit at midnight. We really didn't do our research and we waited too long. It was next to a strip club. We turned on the TV and the only thing it played was black and white amateur porn. We had to join the two double beds together and sleep three of us on there and I drew the middle. In retrospect, we would have felt better if we had slept in the car unlocked Downtown.

Yuck! I don't even like to touch remote controls in normal hotels.





Nothing screams "Sophisticated" like a topless bar named Venus lol!

[quall]

Originally Posted by AuxTown

I was jealous of all the awesome building monsters so I had AI create one for me, Ottawazilla! Can anyone guess what ojectively ugly buildings my monster takes its design language from?

Top is 90 Sparks (Thomas D'Arcy McGee Building), right arm reminds me of Bronson Place before the renos, the rest I dunno, 66 Slater?

I actually don't mind 90 Sparks, think it works well for that corner with the overhang/smaller footprint.

I nominate our own standalone fighter, Cockroachzilla: