Ugly Canada 2 (Only architecture, planning and design faux pas)

[TorontoDrew]

Naw, it's pretty ugly, and my photo actually made it look better than it does in person. If you need to use a cheaper material on your home to make the design work in your budget, maybe it's time to scale back a bit and use quality materials instead. This would have looked way less offensive if done in brick or stone. Like most stucco, it's not aging well.

There are about half a dozen monster stucco homes in The Bridle Path.

[MonctonRad]

I didn't think of the cladding. That wasn't obvious on the photo.

[TorontoDrew]

When I see Stucco, all I see is a house covered in Styrofoam insulation with a layer of popcorn ceiling texture on top.

[Wigs]

Here's my 2 minute mcmansion hell-esque take (kudos to Kate Wagner)



1. The entrance stucco and wall appears to be coming apart. Does not say "wealth" or "long lasting"
- the gate buzzer appears to be on a funky angle which looks like poor installation/workmanship

2. Everyone knows the house is on The Bridle Path arguably Canada's most expensive street in Toronto. The signage is fitting for a typical suburban mass produced large home and looks so tacky on this particular street.

3. The extra portico looks dumb

4. The useless curved balcony adds nothing

5. The rounded window is not centred with the window below on the front

6. Oversized garage is competing for attention with main house
Tiny windows at the sides on garage second floor look foolish

7. TorontoDrew summation
"If you need to use a cheaper material on your home to make the design work in your budget, maybe it's time to scale back a bit and use quality materials instead. This would have looked way less offensive if done in brick or stone. Like most stucco, it's not aging well."

This home is fitting in many areas of the GTA but not on an uber expensive street like The Bridle Path.

And this is the problem with The Bridle Path. Prestigious parts of Toronto like Rosedale will always look classy. The Bridle Path is getting devalued in class and taste with every gargantuan stucco palace or awful design by comparison

[O-tacular]

Originally Posted by TorontoDrew

When I see Stucco, all I see is a house covered in Styrofoam insulation with a layer of popcorn ceiling texture on top.

Same. Stucco seems like such a temporary material. The epitome of our disposable culture.

[O-tacular]

Originally Posted by Wigs

Here's my 2 minute mcmansion hell-esque take (kudos to Kate Wagner)



1. The entrance stucco and wall appears to be coming apart. Does not say "wealth" or "long lasting"
- the gate buzzer appears to be on a funky angle which looks like poor installation/workmanship

2. Everyone knows the house is on The Bridle Path arguably Canada's most expensive street in Toronto. The signage is fitting for a typical suburban mass produced large home and looks so tacky on this particular street.

3. The extra portico looks dumb

4. The useless curved balcony adds nothing

5. The rounded window is not centred with the window below on the front

6. Oversized garage is competing for attention with main house
Tiny windows at the sides on garage second floor look foolish

7. TorontoDrew summation
"If you need to use a cheaper material on your home to make the design work in your budget, maybe it's time to scale back a bit and use quality materials instead. This would have looked way less offensive if done in brick or stone. Like most stucco, it's not aging well."

This home is fitting in many areas of the GTA but not on an uber expensive street like The Bridle Path.

And this is the problem with The Bridle Path. Prestigious parts of Toronto like Rosedale will always look classy. The Bridle Path is getting devalued in class and taste with every gargantuan stucco palace or awful design by comparison

Nice attention to detail (or lack thereof) Wigs! To me it looked like a featureless greige blob. It appears to be even worse when you study it more closely.

[Gresto]

To me, it isn't eye-avertingly ugly at all, but yeah, stucco is trash. For tens of millions, you would expect better. Everything in the area is either profligately enormous or old, or both. Some of the older houses yet untouched by new money are surprisingly modest and frumpy, unlike original houses in Rosedale or Forest Hill, which are almost all stately. The Bridle Path area is where the uncultured nouveau riche congregate. I'm surprised Gordon Lightfoot lived there, as it isn't really his scene.

[Architype]

Originally Posted by Gresto

stucco is trash. For tens of millions, you would expect better. ...

^ Maybe it's worse in person, since material and details can make a big difference, but the overall massing, symmetry / asymmetry, window placement, etc. doesn't seem too awkward or ugly for a mock neo-classical design, although the ubiquitous beige stucco almost always looks cheap and bland.


Here's one I will throw out though. If you know Vancouver architecture, you will know this sort of mimics a style here from over 100 years ago. The recessed attic balconies were a thing then, and the overall form is much the same, except there is no large entrance porch. This is a new build, just completed, not a renovation, is it ugly or not?


(photo by me)

[kwoldtimer]

I find the fence ugly, but the house seems pretty thoughtful.

[Wigs]

One of the reasons the Bridle Path house looks bad to some of us is that even a condo in the area can cost $3-7M. The typical mansion can be $8M- tens of millions of dollars and the owners chose stucco eugh. Drake allegedly spent around $100M on his nearly 50,000 square foot mansion clad in limestone nearby on Park Lane Circle.

I don't mind the Vancouver house. Since they went with what appears to be Cedar shake shingles and black trimmed windows a dark blue siding colour would have been better.
It will look better once it's aged a bit.

But I agree with kwoldtimer, get rid of that fence. Wrought iron would have been classier or even grow a hedge as a natural fence.

[Metro-One]

That house is fine.

It’s not what I would personally have chosen, but by no means is it offensive.

[Architype]

Originally Posted by Metro-One

That house is fine.

It’s not what I would personally have chosen, but by no means is it offensive.

OK, I guess I have different standards. I find the materials clash, in colour, texture, and idea. There isn't much regularity in the design, it all seems a bit random, cluttered, and busy.

Well, here is basically the same type of new build design in the same area, but with a more harmonious colour scheme. However, there are some odd design choices here as well.


(my photo)

[jonny24]

Originally Posted by Wigs

It's the use (misuse) of the land that does it for me. Trying to position the house to look like it's a 10 acre estate, when in reality its completely crammed to the very back.

Gotta make sure all the people driving see your massive fuck-off lawn (that you will never use for anything, not even golf).

There's a new build mansion house near me, that I hate what they did with the land for similar reasons, but it's nowhere near as bad as this.

Streetview on Fiddler's Green



The worst part here isn't the setback, it's the absolute travesty of the landscaping. Just random hills with pine trees for privacy, with no attempt to actually seem like it's part of the natual landscape at all. It's a beautiful area, but let's copy-paste some business park filler beds.

[MolsonExport]

Unless you live in an area with a Southern California/Mediterranean climate, Stucco is Yucco.

[HomeInMyShoes]

Originally Posted by Architype

OK, I guess I have different standards. I find the materials clash, in colour, texture, and idea. There isn't much regularity in the design, it all seems a bit random, cluttered, and busy.

That is my reading of it. The material choices are odd at best.

[Harrison]

I can't think of an uglier house on this thread than that Winnipeg monstrosity. Wow.

[Architype]

Originally Posted by HomeInMyShoes

That is my reading of it. The material choices are odd at best.

Those are front to back duplexes, laneway duplexes BTW, so in form, they are products of the city's policies of densification, regardless of aesthetics. That Jetsons Mcmansion thing in Ontario is quite the opposite.

[Wigs]

Originally Posted by jonny24

It's the use (misuse) of the land that does it for me. Trying to position the house to look like it's a 10 acre estate, when in reality its completely crammed to the very back.

Gotta make sure all the people driving see your massive fuck-off lawn (that you will never use for anything, not even golf).

There's a new build mansion house near me, that I hate what they did with the land for similar reasons, but it's nowhere near as bad as this.

Streetview on Fiddler's Green

...
The worst part here isn't the setback, it's the absolute travesty of the landscaping. Just random hills with pine trees for privacy, with no attempt to actually seem like it's part of the natual landscape at all. It's a beautiful area, but let's copy-paste some business park filler beds.

from Winnipeg's "Fuck You" lawn, to Hamilton's "Fuck Off" berm

Originally Posted by Architype

OK, I guess I have different standards. I find the materials clash, in colour, texture, and idea. There isn't much regularity in the design, it all seems a bit random, cluttered, and busy.

Well, here is basically the same type of new build design in the same area, but with a more harmonious colour scheme. However, there are some odd design choices here as well.


(my photo)

These look worse than the other black/cedar shingle house in my opinion.

[ScreamingViking]

Originally Posted by Wigs

Here's my 2 minute mcmansion hell-esque take (kudos to Kate Wagner)



1. The entrance stucco and wall appears to be coming apart. Does not say "wealth" or "long lasting"
- the gate buzzer appears to be on a funky angle which looks like poor installation/workmanship

2. Everyone knows the house is on The Bridle Path arguably Canada's most expensive street in Toronto. The signage is fitting for a typical suburban mass produced large home and looks so tacky on this particular street.

3. The extra portico looks dumb

4. The useless curved balcony adds nothing

5. The rounded window is not centred with the window below on the front

6. Oversized garage is competing for attention with main house
Tiny windows at the sides on garage second floor look foolish

7. TorontoDrew summation
"If you need to use a cheaper material on your home to make the design work in your budget, maybe it's time to scale back a bit and use quality materials instead. This would have looked way less offensive if done in brick or stone. Like most stucco, it's not aging well."

This home is fitting in many areas of the GTA but not on an uber expensive street like The Bridle Path.

And this is the problem with The Bridle Path. Prestigious parts of Toronto like Rosedale will always look classy. The Bridle Path is getting devalued in class and taste with every gargantuan stucco palace or awful design by comparison

8. Moving snow off all that pavement will be a b*tch. And won't someone cut down those pesky trees because of their leaf-litter???

[TorontoDrew]

Had a bit of A.I fun with it.
Used https://leonardo.ai/
BP_59_Stucco_Upgrade by Andrew Moore, on Flickr