I like the Nice Canadian template so much. It dovetails nicely with the points you two are making about accent, when I think about Nice Canadians talking themselves into knots trying to ask immigrants where they're from, without looking like a yokel who thinks everyone non-white is from somewhere else. "I don't want to presume but, I think, maybe, I - not to say that you don't speak perfect English; you do. But do I mayyyybe detect just a hint of an accent?"
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Originally Posted by Acajack
Not sure you will find this satisfying but I will kinda bear down on what I said, by invoking cultural relativism, and its contradictions.
There is among "nice Canadians" a trend whereby cultural traits, beliefs and behaviours that would not be accepted of Euro-Canadians, are either pooh-pooh-ed or even applauded as authentic or exotic or worldly. In the name of openness.
Religion falls into this, so while belief in divinities is "not for them", they staunchly defend even the most over-the-top stuff as something that needs to be accepted in the name of diversity.
Sometimes the Evil Acajack's mind conjures up a picture of British colonial dudes in white suits and hats sitting in comfy chairs watching the "natives" wearing barely more than animal skins dance around a big fire with a vat that has god-knows-what cooking in it...
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The image is satisfying enough, in its own way.
Funnily enough, it actually has helped me understand your perspective. I'm going to do another "nice Canadian" thing and tell you that your experience is valid (empiricism is very English; this is where it leads). But I think there's a better analogue than race to fit your observations: —.
Race is too inflexible to be a serious analogue for religion. It clearly can't change or be suppressed; it's solidly on the 'being' side of a behavior-being description of what a person is. It's also clearly visible in a way that religion isn't, which fouls up my intuitions about how comparable they could be, if not yours.
— satisfies all of your conditions, while being flexible and invisible. Most of us accept that —, in its broadest strokes is innate and immutable--only the willfully ignorant and cruel still believe in conversion therapy--but we admit flexibility in how people explore, define, and practise their —.
"Nice Canadians" may not go for those practices themselves. They may not accept many of those practices in cis-hets. But they tolerate or embrace them in the name of openness.
Now think of the homophobe's favourite line: "I respect their right to be gay, but do they have to
act so gay?"
The correct response is that they can act however they damn well want. It's no skin off anyone's back (unless they're a consenting adult who's into that kind of thing).
Replace gay with Muslim or Jew and you get a picture of the inverse to the Anglo Canadian cultural consensus. One might ask why someone has to wear a hijab to work at the DMV. Strictly speaking, they don't have to. Not in the way they have to wear their skin colour. But they can wear whatever they damn well want. It's no skin off anyone's back (unless they're practising self-flagellation).
In this light, laws designed to protect a supposedly vulnerable secular state don't look so different from Poland's recent anti-"LGBT ideology" (whatever that's supposed to be) laws, designed to protect their supposedly vulnerable Roman Catholic state.
So, if someone wants to mince around the office in a tutu
and a turban... I wouldn't do it myself--I'd probably even pillory a cis-het white person for punching down--but I will sit atop my rattan chair, twirl my moustache, and approve. In the name of openness.