People who have never set foot in your city that act like they know more then you do?

[dimondpark]

These are the most insufferable people--so I was attending church out-of-state and during one of the meetings, visitors are asked to introduce themselves, which I did and first, when I said I'm from California--there were immediate comments about how terrible it is here, internally I was like, "are you kidding, this trash heap you people live in does not compare to California", which I didn't actually say, I just smiled and pretended not to hear them, but then one person asked where in California, and when I said, "The Bay Area"--this same person said and I quote: "If LA and SF just sank into the ocean, all of California's problems would be solved."---so I asked him, "Have you ever been to either LA or SF?"---he said, "Why would I? They are cesspools."---I didn't pursue this conversation further but I thought, "This is so damn weird?" but not an isolated incident. I've noticed that especially online, people that have never set foot, not even within 100 miles of cities like NY, LA, Chicago, SF, etc, are just full of things to say. It's annoying.

[UrbanImpact]

Originally Posted by dimondpark

These are the most insufferable people--so I was attending church out-of-state and during one of the meetings, visitors are asked to introduce themselves, which I did and first, when I said I'm from California--there were immediate comments about how terrible it is here, internally I was like, "are you kidding, this trash heap you people live in does not compare to California", which I didn't actually say, I just smiled and pretended not to hear them, but then one person asked where in California, and when I said, "The Bay Area"--this same person said and I quote: "If LA and SF just sank into the ocean, all of California's problems would be solved."---so I asked him, "Have you ever been to either LA or SF?"---he said, "Why would I? They are cesspools."---I didn't pursue this conversation further but I thought, "This is so damn weird?" but not an isolated incident. I've noticed that especially online, people that have never set foot, not even within 100 miles of cities like NY, LA, Chicago, SF, etc, are just full of things to say. It's annoying.

Sounds like "Fox News people". My fiancé's parents are the same. I had a hard time convincing them that New York City was much safer than Fort Lauderdale/Broward County.

[bdurk]

The same comments are made to me all the time about living in Philadelphia. I have gotten to the point of just not really caring about it. It's a bunch of people who are locked into the 24/7 news cycle which is built to garner clicks and attention. Unfortunately all of the bad things that happen in an area are going to be reported on for those clicks. Even my parents were kinda like that when I first moved to Philly. 7 years later they are actually looking at moving themselves!

[MolsonExport]

I can think of one prolific forumer that fits this description to a "T"

[iheartthed]

A lot of these types used to direct that energy at their local major city before the demise of local media. Since the demise of local media they are focusing their negative energy on the cities they hear about most often.

[Six Corners]

I like to scan a couple subreddits for people looking to relocate from one city to another and, regardless of politics, an inordinate amount of people are very unkind about St. Louis whenever it comes up, usually basing their opinions on what they've heard or a one night stay in a less active part of our downtown.

People in St. Louis's outer suburbs (St. Charles County in particular) are also not particularly kind about their region's core city either.

[pj3000]

Originally Posted by dimondpark

... when I said I'm from California--there were immediate comments about how terrible it is here, internally I was like, "are you kidding, this trash heap you people live in does not compare to California", which I didn't actually say, I just smiled and pretended not to hear them, but then one person asked where in California, and when I said, "The Bay Area"--this same person said and I quote: "If LA and SF just sank into the ocean, all of California's problems would be solved."

You suffer fools better than I do.

Nearly got into a fight at my local watering hole the other night with two construction-type dudes in fluorescent yellow t-shirts and dirty camo baseball caps... you know the type, Trump supporters straight out of central casting. They were at the corner of the bar spewing general idiocy out of their mouths and started talking shit on California for some reason, like it's the absolute worst place on earth. Of course, neither had ever even been there.

[mhays]

I try to be friendly with people like that, but make it clear that their ideas don't match what I see actually living in my city.

It's an odd thing though. When I hear where someone is from, I generally say something nice about it. But some people will instantly say something horrible.

[Crawford]

Originally Posted by iheartthed

A lot of these types used to direct that energy at their local major city before the demise of local media. Since the demise of local media they are focusing their negative energy on the cities they hear about most often.

Have you noticed suburban Detroiters, as they got more positive about Detroit, got way more negative about other cities? My brother recently experienced this. He was parking on-street at night in a not great area around New Center after a Tigers game, and the suburban locals he was with kept telling him Detroit was now great and it wasn't like he was parking in a hellscape like Chicago or LA. This is same neighborhood where his old car was stolen a few years back.

Detroit has definitely improved but bizarre worldview. Suburbanites know little about Detroit outside of trips to sports events and casinos. And the local media is very much cheerleader-esque while the Fox news blares the ills of distant "hellscapes" like CA. Now the Macomb County crowd is scared to visit Chicago for fear of "BLM rioters" while deeming Detroit fixed bc their GMC Yukon isn't stolen in the $50 lot during a Lions game.

[pj3000]

Originally Posted by mhays

I try to be friendly with people like that, but make it clear that their ideas don't match what I see actually living in my city.

It's an odd thing though. When I hear where someone is from, I generally say something nice about it. But some people will instantly say something horrible.

Yeah, it started out fine, but they (especially one of the dudes) were intent on being nasty/homophobic/racist/offensive. Everyone else was trying to ignore them, pretending like they weren't bringing the vibe of the whole bar down, but I'm not intimidated in the least by the fluorescent yellow shirt boys and had to call them out on their BS.

Same here... I generally like most places I visit, or at least like some aspect of a place that I can relate to a native when talking with them about their hometown. Really easy way to make friends with a stranger.

[iheartthed]

Originally Posted by Crawford

Have you noticed suburban Detroiters, as they got more positive about Detroit, got way more negative about other cities? My brother recently experienced this. He was parking on-street at night in a not great area around New Center after a Tigers game, and the suburban locals he was with kept telling him Detroit was now great and it wasn't like he was parking in a hellscape like Chicago or LA. This is same neighborhood where his old car was stolen a few years back.

Detroit has definitely improved but bizarre worldview. Suburbanites know little about Detroit outside of trips to sports events and casinos. And the local media is very much cheerleader-esque while the Fox news blares the ills of distant "hellscapes" like CA. Now the Macomb County crowd is scared to visit Chicago for fear of "BLM rioters" while deeming Detroit fixed bc their GMC Yukon isn't stolen in the $50 lot during a Lions game.

Yep. This is partly what my comment is based on but it seems true of other metros as well.

[Steely Dan]

Years ago, I endured an extremely awkward engagement dinner party hosted by in-laws' friends who lived on a small lake up in rural Wisconsin.

After dinner, the fuckhead hosting the damn party let out a very FOX-newsian "Chicago is such a hopeless and helpless shithole" while blathering on about nothing of importance.

Being who I am, I most certainly did not let it "politely" slide, and I reminded fuckhead that me and my soon-to-be wife, the alleged guests of honor at his house, fucking LIVED in Chicago. He started blubbering with his foot firmly inserted in his stupid mouth while his wife tried to defuse with a "I'm sure Tom didn't really mean what he said", which I quickly met with a stern "well, If he didn't mean it, then why the hell did he say it? Especially at a party meant to celebrate me and my fiance and our engagement? Why would you invite people into your home just to insult theirs?"

No good answers were offered because none existed.

He eventually attempted an insincere and tortured back-pedalling explanation, but the mood was completely killed by the awkwardness of it all. My mother-in-law was of course horrified (these were her friends afterall), both by his wildly innapropriate insult and by my assertive smackdown of it. Party was over and everyone was in their cars going their separate ways forever 15 minutes later.

What a fuckhead.

[someone123]

In Canada, there can be strong stereotypes about Atlantic Canada and this often causes people to think they know what Halifax is like when they don't. People will sometimes have a strong opinion about backwardness of the region, how rural it is, it gets 10 feet of snow a year, has no economy, people there are on welfare, etc. Some people literally believe Halifax is a small village of fishing shacks or maybe comparable to Greenland. These stereotypes have gotten milder over time but they still exist.

A subtler aspect as far as SSP-like urbanism topics is that a lot of Canadians don't have a sense of how the Atlantic region is meaningfully different. Actually the Atlantic cities have a unique style, culture, and long history. But often they're presented as being the poor cousins of towns in other regions. I don't think you can come up with a very good model for what St. John's is like by just looking at a bunch of towns in Ontario or BC. It's a different animal.

[sopas ej]

Originally Posted by dimondpark

These are the most insufferable people--so I was attending church out-of-state and during one of the meetings, visitors are asked to introduce themselves, which I did and first, when I said I'm from California--there were immediate comments about how terrible it is here, internally I was like, "are you kidding, this trash heap you people live in does not compare to California", which I didn't actually say, I just smiled and pretended not to hear them, but then one person asked where in California, and when I said, "The Bay Area"--this same person said and I quote: "If LA and SF just sank into the ocean, all of California's problems would be solved."---so I asked him, "Have you ever been to either LA or SF?"---he said, "Why would I? They are cesspools."---I didn't pursue this conversation further but I thought, "This is so damn weird?" but not an isolated incident. I've noticed that especially online, people that have never set foot, not even within 100 miles of cities like NY, LA, Chicago, SF, etc, are just full of things to say. It's annoying.

Gee, what a nice church??

And where exactly was this trash heap located?

______________________________________

Myself being 56 and having grown up in the Los Angeles area, I've heard negative comments most of my life from out-of-state people, depending on which era/generation: Hollywood phonies, California is full of fruits and nuts ("I sell fruits and nuts to the fruits and nuts"), "Hollyweird," "Berzerkley"...

When I was younger, it seemed that many out-of-state people found California too "unconventional" or too non-conformist for their taste (many without even having been here); now, it seems like it's more of a downright political and culture-war thing.

[JManc]

I grew up in New York and Texas where it's an Olympic sport to hate on California but I absolutely loved living out there and would have never left if I had the chance to stay.

[iheartthed]

Originally Posted by iheartthed

Yep. This is partly what my comment is based on but it seems true of other metros as well.

Also, to be fair, this goes both ways. People on the coasts tend to also have distorted perceptions of places in the interior.

[Crawford]

Granted, true. People everywhere seem to have weird, distorted views.

But I mentioned suburban Detroit bc there seems to be a recent wild swing, where even Fox News/Trump types are now really wildly bullish on Detroit and yet couldn't be more negative re. other cities. Their Detroit interaction(s) are almost exclusively racing on freeways to some downtown event. Before they'd brag about not setting foot in Detroit in 20 years.

[Docere]

Originally Posted by someone123

In Canada, there can be strong stereotypes about Atlantic Canada and this often causes people to think they know what Halifax is like when they don't. People will sometimes have a strong opinion about backwardness of the region, how rural it is, it gets 10 feet of snow a year, has no economy, people there are on welfare, etc. Some people literally believe Halifax is a small village of fishing shacks or maybe comparable to Greenland. These stereotypes have gotten milder over time but they still exist.

A subtler aspect as far as SSP-like urbanism topics is that a lot of Canadians don't have a sense of how the Atlantic region is meaningfully different. Actually the Atlantic cities have a unique style, culture, and long history. But often they're presented as being the poor cousins of towns in other regions. I don't think you can come up with a very good model for what St. John's is like by just looking at a bunch of towns in Ontario or BC. It's a different animal.

It doesn't help that in Ontario say half a century ago, Maritimers and Newfoundlanders were seen as similar to Appalachian migrants in Midwestern cities. The stereotypes persist somewhat today.

[Yuri]

Originally Posted by Steely Dan

Years ago, I endured an extremely awkward engagement dinner party hosted by in-laws' friends who lived on a small lake up in rural Wisconsin.

After dinner, the fuckhead hosting the damn party let out a very FOX-newsian "Chicago is such a hopeless and helpless shithole" while blathering on about nothing of importance.

Being who I am, I most certainly did not let it "politely" slide, and I reminded fuckhead that me and my soon-to-be wife, the alleged guests of honor at his house, fucking LIVED in Chicago. He started blubbering with his foot firmly inserted in his stupid mouth while his wife tried to defuse with a "I'm sure Tom didn't really mean what he said", which I quickly met with a stern "well, If he didn't mean it, then why the hell did he say it? Especially at a party meant to celebrate me and my fiance and our engagement? Why would you invite people into your home just to insult theirs?"

No good answers were offered because none existed.

He eventually attempted an insincere and tortured back-pedalling explanation, but the mood was completely killed by the awkwardness of it all. My mother-in-law was of course horrified (these were her friends afterall), both by his wildly innapropriate insult and by my assertive smackdown of it. Party was over and everyone was in their cars going their separate ways forever 15 minutes later.

What a fuckhead.

[twinpeaks]

Originally Posted by Steely Dan

Years ago, I endured an extremely awkward engagement dinner party hosted by in-laws' friends who lived on a small lake up in rural Wisconsin.

After dinner, the fuckhead hosting the damn party let out a very FOX-newsian "Chicago is such a hopeless and helpless shithole" while blathering on about nothing of importance.

Being who I am, I most certainly did not let it "politely" slide, and I reminded fuckhead that me and my soon-to-be wife, the alleged guests of honor at his house, fucking LIVED in Chicago. He started blubbering with his foot firmly inserted in his stupid mouth while his wife tried to defuse with a "I'm sure Tom didn't really mean what he said", which I quickly met with a stern "well, If he didn't mean it, then why the hell did he say it? Especially at a party meant to celebrate me and my fiance and our engagement? Why would you invite people into your home just to insult theirs?"

No good answers were offered because none existed.

He eventually attempted an insincere and tortured back-pedalling explanation, but the mood was completely killed by the awkwardness of it all. My mother-in-law was of course horrified (these were her friends afterall), both by his wildly innapropriate insult and by my assertive smackdown of it. Party was over and everyone was in their cars going their separate ways forever 15 minutes later.

What a fuckhead.

good for you.