I've vented some of this one here before just as a release, a dedicated thread is a good idea.
I was supposed to get married. That's been delayed but nothing is certain next year either. I purposefully went for a short engagement to try to avoid the long drawn out process of wedding planning - oh well.
My brother moved in with us for what was supposed to be a short term, get his feet back under him 6 months or so. Covid lockdown, and then the insane house market, have stretched that to 15 months. It's a continual strain on my relationship since he and my finacee have not always gotten along the best. They're good now but there's still a bit of eggshell-walking. And frankly, I just want to live with my fiancee again instead of this "three roommates" situation.
My finacee is completely isolated from her family. Mom and aunts in Halifax, dad in NYC, brother in Hawaii. Can't visit anyone without hefty self-isolation burdens all around. The feeling of isolation is elevated by all of my family living nearby. She's close to saying fuck it and leaving for Halifax regardless of what her work (or even me) thinks about it.
I've had some of my own encounters with feelings of depression. Which is pretty new for me. Still not sure what to make of it. I can be having a good day, then suddenly need to go break down somewhere without even really knowing why.
My rugby season was cancelled, starting with a tournament in Nashville in March. It's not a high level or anything, but I'm 26 this year and am starting to realize my playing days are going to be limited very soon. I resent losing what should have a season in my prime. It's the primary facet of my social life in the summers.
My grandfather has come down with 2 or 3 types of cancer. It's been incredibly frustrating trying to get any form of diagnosis - they still aren't 100% sure if it even is cancer in his arm. He's 92, and ideally we would all be spending as much time with him as we can. But we can't because of covid. We have no timeline expectation, although he seems to be doing better with whatever medication they've given him and he has a nurse visit a couple times a week to help out.
My other grandfather is in a care home with severe Parkinson's and dementia. Which was extremely worrying when covid was sweeping through care homes. That seems stable, but the ongoing isolation has been very hard on my grandmother. He just turned 80 and there was no party or get together or hardly any mention of it. I called my grandmother to talk but my grandfather can't really communicate anymore. So can't talk to him, can't see him.... it's like he's gone without actually being gone.
Early on in the spring, I can't remember if was pre lockdown or not, new neighbours moved in. They have a pack of un-watched children and have now become the neighbourhood hangout spot, constantly riding bikes and scooters all over the street and much too close to my vehicles. I try not be a grumpy old man who hates fun, kids should play, but it's gone as far as tresspassing in my yard, climbing in my trucks, grabbing onto UPS trucks as the drive by, and refusing to move bike ramps out of the street. I now kinda hate my street.
The good:
WFH is nice. Work has rolled it back to just two days a week. I'm not actually worried about the virus in my workplace or anything but it's still annoying to have to give it up. But overall my workplace has handled everything very well, and I'm grateful to have the job I do. They've earned some loyalty points from me.
My fiancee was laid off for 8 weeks or so, but we got CERB pretty quickly and did not suffer any real financial hardship, thankfully.
In fact, we saved enough money for us both to get into some new hobbies. I bought my dream truck to restore (so now I have no more money
)
The rugby club has actually been more social than previously, I think we'll have a real increase in team cohesion next year.
Idk, I just want things to be "normal", but I know somethings never will be. And some things that have come back, still aren't the same. Sure, the bars are open, but you still can't really just have a carefree night out. There's still a sense of not being able to go anywhere or do anything.
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