I'd consider the big differentiator between urban and suburban being that urban is collective and suburban is separatist. In an urban setting, everything works together as part of a wider whole. The buildings are often attached to one another or are at least close enough together that it affects their shape and design. Perhaps they're long and narrow extending inward from the street because of the lot shape or only have windows in certain places because of the neighbouring buildings. The buildings come up to or near the street because and form an urban fabric. People mostly get around separately too, using their private vehicles where they're separated from other people and the surrounding environment.
Everything is about being separate and people are trying to escape from things. Noise, crime, traffic, crowding, etc. Not counting people who live there because it's all they can afford of course. They see "urban" as a collection of negatives to be escaped without recognizing the positives. It's basically people who want the space of a rural area while still being close enough to the "stuff" they want like schools, stores, and employment. They like having city stuff at arms's reach while not actually living in it.
Therefore, the spectrum of urban to suburban is based on the number of collective vs separatist elements. A place is more urban when there's more collective elements and more suburban when there are more separatist elements. More infrastructure for collective transportation (mass transit) makes a place more urban, while more infrastructure for separate transportation (private cars) is less urban. More detached homes, homes surrounded by barriers like fences and shrubbery, behind lawns and set back from the street is less urban. More attached and multi-unit is more urban. But because so many places mix these elements to varying degrees, many places are neither totally urban nor totally suburban. Whether it should be called urban or suburban just comes down to what the place has more of. That's my approach anyway.
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"The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man." - George Bernard Shaw
Don't ask people not to debate a topic. Just stop making debatable assertions. Problem solved.
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