Well, here we go again. New month, new neighborhood. Might as well get started.
Speaking of getting started, everyone knows that all good photo threads begin in Subway restaurants. Anyone who tells you otherwise is
lying.
If the Subway adjoins a failed upscale menswear shop, more's the better. Nothing improves the taste of a chicken-bacon-ranch flatbread quite like a staircase crowded with headless, armless, naked shirt dummies.
Once you're done with your sandwich of course, before setting out you'll need to check the newspaper. Today in Asheville...
Then you'll need to go to the library, where you will be compelled to view a portrait of the man for whom the library is named.
Be sure to contemplate the context in which the portrait is displayed for a full understanding of the situation.
But where are we even going, you ask.
Over there.
But first you'll need to make your way through downtown...
...and then you'll need to pass beneath the I-240 overpass at Lexington Avenue.
But still you have no idea where we're going.
Well, I'll tell you. There are five main streets leading north from downtown Asheville. Montford Avenue leads northwest through the Montford neighborhood. Broadway leads northwest also. Merrimon Avenue and Charlotte Street go north, and Town Mountain Road heads northeast. Old residential neighborhoods are arrayed like a fan between each of these routes. Montford is a large Victorian district to the northwest and, heading east, next comes a tiny wedge of a district called Five Points, then Chestnut Hill, and then you get into a fuzzy area where Chestnut Hill gloms together with Grove Park, Town Mountain, and Albemarle Park.
This month it's a twofer. We're exploring
Five Points and
Chestnut Hill.
Five Points is up first, and as you can tell, it needs some love.
Before the recession kicked everyone's asses, some developers were beginning to show this area some love. Some were even thinking of making a definite move in the direction of Second Base, as we can see here.
Meanwhile...
If anybody remembered January's jaunt through downtown, the BB&T Building looms. Bitch looms like a cholo in fact, and yes, that is indeed the BB&T lurking the background. As if you had any doubt.
There is always a sad story attached to a house that has acquired a wheelchair ramp at some point in its history.
If the house with the ramp has gone abandoned, you may rest assured that the sad story turned tragic.
Five Points occupies the triangle bordered roughly by Broadway, Hillside, and Merrimon. Once you cross Merrimon, you're in
Chestnut Hill.
Chestnut Street is, perhaps unsurprisingly, the main east-west street in Chestnut Hill.
The WhiteGate Inn and Cottage is beloved of vacationing Californian SSP forumers everywhere. Just ask Plinko!
I have this terrible affliction where my eyes are drawn to the sidewalk, and I walk along as though shrouded in shame. On the one hand, I look like a derelict. On the other, I avoid most of the piles of dog crap, plus I get to look at these groovy patterned bricks.
Like Merrimon Avenue, Charlotte Street is mostly a commercial artery.
But once you get away from Charlotte Street, you're back in a residential realm.
Chestnut Hill occupies land that slopes gently up to the east. Once the land begins to rise sharply, you're among the fancy people up on Town Mountain.
Here is a witch. Note that she is standing at the corner of Charlotte and Blair. How do I know she's a witch? She told me. She also gave me an enchanted necklace.
And if you think I'm making any of that up, you've obviously never been to Asheville.
Isn't this cheery?
In Asheville, as elsewhere, there is a strong correlation between your altitude and your tax bracket.
You just know there's a story behind this.
And this.
And this.
I could not agree more!
We'll now take this opportunity to break away from Victorian, Queen Anne, and Craftsman architecture and enjoy a short Art Deco intermission.
We now return you to your regularly scheduled thread.
This house is being attacked by a giant squid.
This house, across the street, is not being attacked by a giant squid.
Do you have any idea what the hell this might be? I sure don't.
I think this might be a cow. Not sure.
What's mysterious about finding this pin on the sidewalk is that there isn't a Waffle House for miles.
It is no coincidence that this is painted on a wall...
...across the street from this. Yes, your arteries will flow as smoothly as a peat bog after consuming just one of their breakfast biscuits, but by God you'll go with a smile on your face.
Naturally, the only thing left to do after walking what I would estimate to be about three miles, is head back downtown. Go by City Hall and visit the magnolia tree that had witches dancing around it and casting spells on it all summer long to protect it from a developer who wanted to cut it down.
And again, if you think I'm kidding, you've never been here.
And after you've hugged a magic tree, go here:
Why? Because you want a cookie of course.
And when you're done with your cookie, which was the size of a largish saucer and weighed as much as a cat's head, look up and see this.
Then, as you're walking back to your car and you pass a salon closed for the weekend, look in and see this.
And then from the top of the parking deck, look out and see this. Captured in this picture is one of the largest gay bars in North Carolina. Can you spot it?
Then, on your way home, pass through Pack Square and see this.
And finally, come back next month for another Asheville neighborhood of the month.
Hey... Weren't you here earlier this year?
Downtown in January: Assorted hideous Beasts, attractively arrayed
I can enjoy home cooking when I'm in Asheville too. Thank you for the construction update. The last time I saw this building, it was nothing more than a frame: 
Linear Mode
