Alright, I was distracted thinking about this all morning and couldn't get any work done, so I sat down and made my own (very, very rough) fantasy interchange concept:
This design diverts the main traffic lanes of route 102 through just 2 new structures and leverages the existing 101 overpass for ramps, while allowing all 24 possible traffic movements with no weaving at any point (though there are some unusual merges and a number of the merge lanes would have to be expanded or realigned from how they're shown; again, it's a very rough concept).
Biggest drawback that stands out to me is the really tight radius of the northwest loop, though that could be solved if the adjacent land is able to be appropriated and the building and access roads removed, allowing the interchange to expand a little further in that direction.
Anyway, it's a completely off-the-wall, unconventional, pie-in-the-sky interchange design but at least now I have the monkey off my back.