VLJ, you have a weird perception of homosexuality. Gay people aren't nearly as interesting as you describe.
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Listens to bands that you have never heard of.
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Gay people listen to an onslaught of bad techno and overplayed pop music.
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Has hairstyle that can only be described as "complicated." (Most likely achieved by a minimum of one week not washing it.)
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It is extremely rare to see a gay guy with hair longer than 1/2". Fauxhawks dominate, much to my nausea.
something you see on straight guys WAY more often.
Where?
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Definitely cooler than you.
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ok, pretension is one thing the homos have.
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Reads Black Book, Nylon, and the Styles section of the New York Times.
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gay people don't read.
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Drinks Pabst Blue Ribbon.
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Gay people drink Bud Light, cheap cocktails, or occasionally wine if they're nesting at home.
LOL. Ok.
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Probably living off parents money - and spends a great deal of it to look like they don't have any.
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Gay people get out of the house ASAP, and spend all their damn money to make it look like they have some.
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Has friends and/or self cut hair. Dyes it frequently (black, white-blonde, etc. and until scalp bleeds).
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Not something gay people do.
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Has a closet full of clothing but usually wears same three things OVER AND OVER (most likely very tight black pants, scarf, and ironic tee-shirt).
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Gay people wear blue, exclusively. Go into BS West on any given night and it's like a concentration camp.
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Chips off nail polish artfully after $50 manicure.
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The homos that were nail polish are almost entirely dissed on by the quasi-masculinity complex.
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Sleeps with everyone and talks about it at great volume in crowded coffee shops.
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Ok.
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Addicted to coffee, cigarettes (Parliaments, Kamel Reds, Lucky Strikes, etc.), and possibly cocaine.
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Coffee, definitely. Cigarettes are too passe.
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Claims to be in a band. Rehearsals consist of choosing outfits for next show and drinking PBR.
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Gay people do not play instruments. At all.
I don't know anything gay around here that has a list.
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Majors or majored in art, writing, or queer studies.
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Again, not gay.
OK.
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May go by "Penny Lane," "Eleanor Rigby," etc. when drunk. On PBR. Which is usually.
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Maybe. But not likely.
needless to say I'm quite jaded.