Quote:
Originally Posted by 10023
It’s people with this holier than thou attitude towards raising children that turn me off of the idea of having kids at all. I’m not sure whether we will anyway, but if I actually believed that the moment I had children they needed to be the only thing in my life that mattered, then I wouldn’t even consider it.
I’m going to live where I want to live, based on a whole range of factors that are important to me. That includes country, city, neighborhood. I’m not, for example, moving to the burbs or a particular area because of schools, or because it’s supposedly “child-friendly”. People grow up in the slums of Mumbai and become successful, people grow up in Texas exurbs with huge backyards and great public schools and become complete fuck-ups. It really doesn’t matter all that much.
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It's not holier than thou, it's that people generally don't know what it's actually like and how they will react when placed in situations X, Y and Z, until they actually live it. This includes getting a cancer diagnosis, witnessing something truly horrifying, winning life-changing millions of dollars, having a an old, dying ill parent totally dependent on your for months or years, and yes... becoming a parent yourself.
For most normal people, becoming a parent turns your life and your view of it totally upside down. You learn what it means to be second fiddle, not just in the eyes of others, but in your own eyes as well.
Just one example is how the country you are originally from almost destroyed and literally destroyed (in certain cases) some its greatest cities at one point, due in large part to tens of millions of individual decisions made by people based on a perception of what was "best for their kids".