The Dad Thread

[Acajack]

Originally Posted by O-tacular

Just trying to have family dinners where everyone is eating at the same time is proving to be damn near impossible. But yes no screen time at the table. Meals feel like a speed eating contest dealing with a baby and a toddler. Louis CK was bang on when he said you eat standing up. Most of my meals get eaten between prep standing in the kitchen.

It wasn't too bad for us until around the middle of elementary school when they started to have evening activities, often in several different places. Some nights they'd have a snack before their activity and then we'd all have dinner together at... 9 or 9:30 pm.

[esquire]

Originally Posted by O-tacular

Funny enough my toddler has learned the alphabet, numbers and new words from watching kids youtube videos. There is the downside of the videos themselves mostly being grating and horrible ex soviet state engrish such as D Billions and the dozens of ripoffs of them. Also my eldest is now entering the phase of nightmares which seem to be directly lifted from some of the videos he has watched which supposedly are meant to help kids overcome their fears, but instead introduce them where none existed. My son didn't know about monsters under beds or in closets before. Now I've had to move a fake plant from his room because he has nightmares that it comes alive with glowing eyes and talks to him.

I used to be judgmental of parents giving kids screen time but it is a necessity I don't judge anyone for using. Any parents of kids predating smartphones are kidding themselves if they think they wouldn't have done the same. My hairdresser was marveling at how well behaved my son was on his tablet with some puffs over the weekend when we were getting our hair cut. He told me with his kids they had a portable DVD player. That was their screen. Things are definitely easier now.

When my oldest was a preschooler and starting to watch things on Youtube, I was not that up to speed on what was out there... he started falling down the rabbit hole of weird shit, not quite Elsagate stuff (look it up if you aren't familiar with it) but definitely low quality videos. I put an end to that in a hurry and started paying closer attention.

My son is 9 and likes some goofy things but I keep a pretty close eye on it and it's generally appropriate stuff. Along with the typical Youtuber stuff he watches an immense amount of sports highlights, ha.

My daughter is 7 and she is more discerning, she watches mostly Disney+ content or things on Treehouse (on actual cable TV).

My wife and I don't allow the kids unlimited screen time but at the same time we don't crack down hard either. Some entertainment is fine. I don't think the kids get more screen time than my wife and I did when we were kids watching TV.

And your story about nightmares reminded me when I had to take down my son's Jets pennant because he was convinced that Patrik Laine was staring at him at night

[Acajack]

Originally Posted by esquire

. I don't think the kids get more screen time than my wife and I did when we were kids watching TV.
]

Never thought about it until now but my kids almost certainly had less screen time in their childhood and youth than I did watching TV. (Not sure about my wife. Not sure we've ever discussed how much TV she watched.)

But my kids were often too busy to watch TV.

[esquire]

Originally Posted by Acajack

Never thought about it until now but my kids almost certainly had less screen time in their childhood and youth than I did watching TV. (Not sure about my wife. Not sure we've ever discussed how much TV she watched.)

But my kids were often too busy to watch TV.

Yeah, that is often the case for my kids. I guess it is kind of a yuppie cliche to sign your kids up for a bunch of stuff, but to be honest, they always seem so happy when they have their various activities to go to and things to do. Those early stretches of the pandemic when nothing was happening were pretty tough.

[O-tacular]

Originally Posted by esquire

When my oldest was a preschooler and starting to watch things on Youtube, I was not that up to speed on what was out there... he started falling down the rabbit hole of weird shit, not quite Elsagate stuff (look it up if you aren't familiar with it) but definitely low quality videos. I put an end to that in a hurry and started paying closer attention.

My son is 9 and likes some goofy things but I keep a pretty close eye on it and it's generally appropriate stuff. Along with the typical Youtuber stuff he watches an immense amount of sports highlights, ha.

My daughter is 7 and she is more discerning, she watches mostly Disney+ content or things on Treehouse (on actual cable TV).

My wife and I don't allow the kids unlimited screen time but at the same time we don't crack down hard either. Some entertainment is fine. I don't think the kids get more screen time than my wife and I did when we were kids watching TV.

And your story about nightmares reminded me when I had to take down my son's Jets pennant because he was convinced that Patrik Laine was staring at him at night

The Kidsyoutube app seems to have eliminated most of the unsavoury content from regular youtube. The stuff I’ve blocked is usually tone deaf or not overtly awful. ESL level cartoons about stranger danger that do less to help than make kids think literal cartoon characters wearing black bank robber masks are going to break into their homes. Not actually helpful and make kids afraid for no reason. Also some eastern european stuff with scary masks.

[O-tacular]

Speaking of scary and inappropriate kids show content I think of my childhood in the 80’s and marvel at some of the stuff that was considered fine.

For instance the Astar war amps commercial scared the shit out of me and was everywhere:

• Video Link

Then there was this scene from the Brave Little Toaster:

• Video Link

And the worst of all was Ghostbusters. The Boogieman scared the shit out of me and haunted me through childhood:

• Video Link

[esquire]

^ Good old Astar! That spot got heavy play in the mid 80s.

On a related note, one of my earliest TV memories was of this PSA that scared the crap out of me when I was a toddler... Mr. Yuk.

I think the idea was that parents could get the green stickers with Mr. Yuk's face and put it on dangerous things around the house. The ads were supposed to drive home the point that things with the stickers were bad for you, but they just ended up terrifying me, haha

• Video Link

[harls]

^ yeah that Astar fucker scared the shit out of me.

[O-tacular]

Originally Posted by esquire

^ Good old Astar! That spot got heavy play in the mid 80s.

On a related note, one of my earliest TV memories was of this PSA that scared the crap out of me when I was a toddler... Mr. Yuk.

I think the idea was that parents could get the green stickers with Mr. Yuk's face and put it on dangerous things around the house. The ads were supposed to drive home the point that things with the stickers were bad for you, but they just ended up terrifying me, haha

• Video Link

Before my time (wasn't even born yet) but that would have freaked me out too.

[O-tacular]

Originally Posted by harls

^ yeah that Astar fucker scared the shit out of me.

I get that they wanted to make kids aware of danger but the blades attacking from all directions and his beady black alien eyes were so unnecessarily freaky. Made it seem like everywhere you went you were going to have a limb amputated.

Then there was stuff like this drug PSA from the 90's:

• Video Link

[Acajack]

Originally Posted by esquire

Yeah, that is often the case for my kids. I guess it is kind of a yuppie cliche to sign your kids up for a bunch of stuff, but to be honest, they always seem so happy when they have their various activities to go to and things to do. Those early stretches of the pandemic when nothing was happening were pretty tough.

Activities are great provided that they don't interfere with their education. Not all parents find the right balance, though most of us think we do - of course!

Seems like we did OK.

Quite a few of our friends have kids who barely did any activities. They thought we were crazy and told us so regularly.

Though in their case it wasn't because they felt activities would interfere with school, but rather that activities would cramp their style (ie the parents' style): ie having to drive kids there on evenings and weekends, volunteer for the club or take part in fundraising, etc. In some cases it was even because activities cost too much money and therefore they wouldn't be able to go away to a nice resort down south at March Break!

More than a few people I know had the annual all-inclusive trip (2 a year in some cases) as a hard financial justification for kids not playing any sports, or even not going to private school. (The latter being quite affordable here in Quebec, at 3000-4000k a year.)

[O-tacular]

Originally Posted by Acajack

Activities are great provided that they don't interfere with their education. Not all parents find the right balance, though most of us think we do - of course!

Seems like we did OK.

Quite a few of our friends have kids who barely did any activities. They thought we were crazy and told us so regularly.

Though in their case it wasn't because they felt activities would interfere with school, but rather that activities would cramp their style (ie the parents' style): ie having to drive kids there on evenings and weekends, volunteer for the club or take part in fundraising, etc. In some cases it was even because activities cost too much money and therefore they wouldn't be able to go away to a nice resort down south at March Break!

More than a few people I know had the annual all-inclusive trip (2 a year in some cases) as a hard financial justification for kids not playing any sports, or even not going to private school. (The latter being quite affordable here in Quebec, at 3000-4000k a year.)

Kids sports have become ridiculously, prohibitively expensive. My old neighbours spent $10,000.00 per year on dance class for their daughters. As a kid I hated the team sports I was forced into playing. I ended up liking hockey when I was a preteen but I chose to play then. T-ball, soccer, karate and even cubs were just painful. Being an introvert probably didn't help, but it was never my thing. My brother was the same. Same for my wife's brothers who my in-laws apparently would motivate to kick the ball with treats.

Sports can be great but they're not for everyone.

[esquire]

Originally Posted by Acajack

Quite a few of our friends have kids who barely did any activities. They thought we were crazy and told us so regularly.

Though in their case it wasn't because they felt activities would interfere with school, but rather that activities would cramp their style (ie the parents' style): ie having to drive kids there on evenings and weekends, volunteer for the club or take part in fundraising, etc. In some cases it was even because activities cost too much money and therefore they wouldn't be able to go away to a nice resort down south at March Break!

More than a few people I know had the annual all-inclusive trip (2 a year in some cases) as a hard financial justification for kids not playing any sports, or even not going to private school. (The latter being quite affordable here in Quebec, at 3000-4000k a year.)

I can appreciate the fact that kids' activities cramp your style. I guess it's a question of whether or not one is OK with making that sacrifice. I mean, if I was super into something and spent a lot of time doing it (golfing, stock-car racing, playing in a band, volunteering, working out) I'd probably find a way to make sure I could keep doing it. But my "extracurriculars" are fairly light commitments time-wise so I can spend time on kid stuff... which means that my wife and I end up doing a lot of chauffeuring on the weekend, etc. I'm fine with that, but I guess it's one of those things where people have different preferences.

My kids seem to enjoy their activities so I'm happy to keep taking them.

[esquire]

Originally Posted by O-tacular

Kids sports have become ridiculously, prohibitively expensive. My old neighbours spent $10,000.00 per year on dance class for their daughters.

One thing I have noticed is that the kid sport industry will take as much money as parents are willing to throw at it. One of the dads on my kid's Timbit team some years back was a very accomplished hockey player who worked in the hockey business. He said that when he got into it, he was amazed by how many people were willing to drop thousands of dollars on one-on-one training on kids who were pretty average in terms of ability and dedication.

Most basic sports/dance programs are not that crazy expensive but the various options can send the costs into the stratosphere.

[O-tacular]

My wife took this photo yesterday and it is now my favourite picture of my youngest son! That smile makes all the BS in the world right now fade to nothing.

[drew]

Originally Posted by esquire

One thing I have noticed is that the kid sport industry will take as much money as parents are willing to throw at it. One of the dads on my kid's Timbit team some years back was a very accomplished hockey player who worked in the hockey business. He said that when he got into it, he was amazed by how many people were willing to drop thousands of dollars on one-on-one training on kids who were pretty average in terms of ability and dedication.

Most basic sports/dance programs are not that crazy expensive but the various options can send the costs into the stratosphere.

It also helps if your kids like sports, but really aren't superstars. But you won't know that going in of course.

My kids are in lower level hockey/ringette/gymnastics/flag football, and while it isn't cheap, we fit all that in for well under $10k a year.

The biggest hit is to your schedule and chaotic weekday attempts at dinner to get kids to where they have to be in time.

[Acajack]

Originally Posted by esquire

I can appreciate the fact that kids' activities cramp your style. I guess it's a question of whether or not one is OK with making that sacrifice. I mean, if I was super into something and spent a lot of time doing it (golfing, stock-car racing, playing in a band, volunteering, working out) I'd probably find a way to make sure I could keep doing it. But my "extracurriculars" are fairly light commitments time-wise so I can spend time on kid stuff... which means that my wife and I end up doing a lot of chauffeuring on the weekend, etc. I'm fine with that, but I guess it's one of those things where people have different preferences.

My kids seem to enjoy their activities so I'm happy to keep taking them.

I actually didn't enjoy activities much as a kid. I tried basically everything but didn't stick with much.

Though when I got a bit older (pre-teen and teen) I was quite jealous of the camaraderie and thrill enjoyed by the other kids who'd been doing the same activity since they were young.

I didn't push my kids into anything but I did get them to try a bunch of things when they were fairly young. I also required them to finish out the seasonal session of any activity they started. (Whereas my parents generally just let me quit after one or two classes.)

In the end something did stick and they ended up doing the same activities for close to 15 years. Camaraderie, glory and all.

[TimB09]

Originally Posted by Acajack

I actually didn't enjoy activities much as a kid. I tried basically everything but didn't stick with much.

Though when I got a bit older (pre-teen and teen) I was quite jealous of the camaraderie and thrill enjoyed by the other kids who'd been doing the same activity since they were young.

I didn't push my kids into anything but I did get them to try a bunch of things when they were fairly young. I also required them to finish out the seasonal session of any activity they started. (Whereas my parents generally just let me quit after one or two classes.)

In the end something did stick and they ended up doing the same activities for close to 15 years. Camaraderie, glory and all.

My wife and I are the same way. Try things and if you don't like it, you can stop once the season is over. None of this quit half way during the season. And who knows, maybe sticking with it they may eventually change their minds and end up enjoying it and keep going.

[harls]

Originally Posted by O-tacular

My wife took this photo yesterday and it is now my favourite picture of my youngest son! That smile makes all the BS in the world right now fade to nothing.

Nice pic dude, he's cute!

Cherish these years, sir.

[esquire]

^ Yes, what a great smile!