The Dad Thread

[Acajack]

Now seems like the appropriate time to wish all the "trying" SSPers a healthy baby for 2023!

[lio45]

I’ll add myself to the list (now four couples long) of SSPers whose XX-chromosomed “better half” unfortunately can’t procreate like a bunny, for reasons. But we’d like to have children and our issues can be worked on.

Best wishes to you three, niwell, big T and le calmar and hope it works for you all

[O-tacular]

Originally Posted by big T

We’re in a similar spot, though we haven’t embarked on the IVF journey so far. We just learned today that this will be the second pregnancy loss, so given our age the only way forward would be IVF. I hope it works out for you guys.

The emotional toll is a bit much and we’re leaning towards just forgoing the child project altogether. Right now there are still a few medical appointments and the ultimate surgery to look forward to, so we’ll take it one step at a time and use the holiday downtime to reflect on all this.

There is no telling if things would have worked out differently had we pulled the trigger a few years ago, but it sure feels like we just woke up one morning and that ship had sailed without warning.

Really sorry to hear that. Wishing you guys well. Miscarriage is surprisingly common but no one talks about it. The grief is also something that gets downplayed or ignored. The doctor who delivered us the bad news our first try even winked and congratulated us about our fertility (WTF). I put on 20 lbs afterward. Then we had our rainbow baby. Similarly we have friends who lost their first pregnancy and needed a D&C, had a baby, then got pregnant again and were told that the bloodwork showed the baby wasn't viable. Thankfully they delayed booking the procedure because a week later they were told the lab made a mistake and the pregnancy was viable. Now they have a son and a daughter. Life's weird.

No matter what you choose to do it's the right path for you guys. Just wanted to let you know that you aren't alone in your pain and that there can be hope.

Edit: Same goes for all you guys that are trying.

[O-tacular]

Originally Posted by MolsonExport

Du Ha(s)st (You hate) to the poop! Maybe it was a bad one.

No poop that time. He peed and bolted off the potty without pulling up his pants so that he could headbang and dance to the music. He gets down on all fours to bang his head sometimes (worked well when he had long hair) to Thunderstruck or something by Megadeth, Judas Priest or Gojira. Then he goes right back to the Wiggles. My son is a burgeoning metalhead with an eclectic taste in music.

[MolsonExport]

^good stuff. My kids used to love my music (basically anything from 1965-1985, across a range of genres, rock, pop, punk, disco, alternative, new wave, funk, R&B, soul, prog rock, glam rock, some metal). I haven't got a clue what they listen to now; I just know that it is not my music.

[hipster duck]

For those men who are hoping to have a child with their partners, know that there are still a lot of options on the table:

Without prying into details, there's always traditional surrogates if the fertility issue is on the woman's side, and sperm donors on the male side. There's adoption. And, finally, there's the uncle role that I feel a lot of men kind of pass on, and there's organizations like Big Brothers where you get to mentor a kid (usually a boy) who likely doesn't have a father in his life.

Wishing you three all the best in whatever path you choose in the new year.

[O-tacular]

Originally Posted by MolsonExport

^good stuff. My kids used to love my music (basically anything from 1965-1985, across a range of genres, rock, pop, punk, disco, alternative, new wave, funk, R&B, soul, prog rock, glam rock, some metal). I haven't got a clue what they listen to now; I just know that it is not my music.

Lol! You've graduated to true dad when you don't know the music your kids listen to. I'm already pretty out of touch and consider most music made after the 00's to be garbage. My son also loves 80's music and some 70's (Stayin' Alive). His first favourite songs were Crocodile Rock and We Didn't Start the Fire. Now he's an angsty Threenager so he loves metal.

[hipster duck]

Originally Posted by O-tacular

No poop that time. He peed and bolted off the potty without pulling up his pants so that he could headbang and dance to the music. He gets down on all fours to bang his head sometimes (worked well when he had long hair) to Thunderstruck or something by Megadeth, Judas Priest or Gojira. Then he goes right back to the Wiggles. My son is a burgeoning metalhead with an eclectic taste in music.

That's awesome! My 3 year old loves the Kinks, but not when she's taking a dump.

We basically only let her watch the TV when she's sitting on the can. "Bluey" is a great show for this, since it's only 5 minutes long and it isn't addictive (word to the wise, shows like "Cocomelon" are basically crack for kids and should be avoided at all cost). Anyway, she has started getting into the habit of yelling "I watch a show, you wipe me butt!" after she's done, which makes me laugh.

[O-tacular]

Originally Posted by hipster duck

That's awesome! My 3 year old loves the Kinks, but not when she's taking a dump.

We basically only let her watch the TV when she's sitting on the can. "Bluey" is a great show for this, since it's only 5 minutes long and it isn't addictive (word to the wise, shows like "Cocomelon" are basically crack for kids and should be avoided at all cost). Anyway, she has started getting into the habit of yelling "I watch a show, you wipe me butt!" after she's done, which makes me laugh.

Lol! Yeah Cocomelon is annoying. Nothing is as annoying as DBillions though.

[Proof Sheet]

Originally Posted by O-tacular

Lol! You've graduated to true dad when you don't know the music your kids listen to. I'm already pretty out of touch and consider most music made after the 00's to be garbage. My son also loves 80's music and some 70's (Stayin' Alive). His first favourite songs were Crocodile Rock and We Didn't Start the Fire. Now he's an angsty Threenager so he loves metal.

Count me as a true dad then. My 22 year old likes something called 'mumble rap' which I have no idea or I'm sure any interest in. Radio doesn't have the same pull it did for my generation. To me all music on the top 40 radio stations sounds the same to me but then I'm sure music I liked when I was a teenager all sounded the same to my parents. The fact that actual music purchases are way down tells you something and the fact that Rumours, Queen Greatest Hits and various greatest hits of 'legacy' groups are high up on the album charts is telling.

[esquire]

Originally Posted by Proof Sheet

Count me as a true dad then. My 22 year old likes something called 'mumble rap' which I have no idea or I'm sure any interest in. Radio doesn't have the same pull it did for my generation. To me all music on the top 40 radio stations sounds the same to me but then I'm sure music I liked when I was a teenager all sounded the same to my parents. The fact that actual music purchases are way down tells you something and the fact that Rumours, Queen Greatest Hits and various greatest hits of 'legacy' groups are high up on the album charts is telling.

My kids are not as old as yours, but radio and broadcast TV basically don't exist to my kids.

Radio is something the parents put on in the car. TV is just something you use to play video games on. I guess my son will use the TV on occasion to watch live sports on TSN/SN, so there is at least that. But it has nowhere near the role that it had in my childhood, let's say.

Case in point: my mother in law was going to get my son a "boom box" for Christmas with CD and cassette player, but no bluetooth. Straight out of 1994, I didn't even know they still made those, honestly. I had to explain to her that he doesn't have CDs and cassettes and probably never will... he just needs a straight up bluetooth speaker. That did not compute so we encouraged her to buy some other gift instead, ha.

[MolsonExport]

My kids haven't watched broadcast TV since their very young days of watching "Treehouse" (the home of annoying ear worms). They will still watch netflix on their phones/computer screens. Neither of them own any CDs (I have over a thousand CDs, plus at least another thousand LPs and probably 400 cassettes...at least I got rid of my 8-tracks and most of my 45s) or DVDs (again I have maybe 300, plus at least the same number of VHS).

Of course, 98% of my current music listening is on my iphone or some other bluetooth narrowcasting to speakers, but I still have a deep affection for physical music, especially LPs.

I know I am really an old fogie, but my honest impression is that popular music today is terrible.

There's an animal in Twouble!!

[TimB09]

Originally Posted by hipster duck

That's awesome! My 3 year old loves the Kinks, but not when she's taking a dump.

We basically only let her watch the TV when she's sitting on the can. "Bluey" is a great show for this, since it's only 5 minutes long and it isn't addictive (word to the wise, shows like "Cocomelon" are basically crack for kids and should be avoided at all cost). Anyway, she has started getting into the habit of yelling "I watch a show, you wipe me butt!" after she's done, which makes me laugh.

Bluey is a great show. Makes me laugh as there's some adult humor in it too.

Cocomelon and Blippi, I would be a happy man if I never saw either of those shows again.

[esquire]

Originally Posted by MolsonExport

I know I am really an old fogie, but my honest impression is that popular music today is terrible.

But everyone says that about the music that came after they became adults

[esquire]

Originally Posted by TimB09

Bluey is a great show. Makes me laugh as there's some adult humor in it too.

Cocomelon and Blippi, I would be a happy man if I never saw either of those shows again.

Peppa Pig has some subtly sardonic British humour in it that I appreciate

[MolsonExport]

Originally Posted by esquire

But everyone says that about the music that came after they became adults

Maybe. My Dad really enjoyed Pink Floyd despite being nearly middle aged when first exposed to it from his eldest son (me). I also got him into plenty of other stuff (although try as I might, I couldn't get him into Led Zeppelin...he just didn't like the screaming voice of Robert Plant), although he was a jazz fanatic at heart (Dave Brubeck Quartet being his favourite).

[O-tacular]

My gripe with music over the last decade or more is that there's no humanity to it. Everything is produced on a computer and pieced together into a slick, soulless package. Same thing with artwork and instagram.

It's funny because my son has really gravitated towards 80's music. And it's not just cause it's in my library. He finds stuff on iTunes I've never heard of before randomly clicking. On the flip side most of the new music I listen to recently is stuff he finds. And it gets obscure. Perry Farrell (Of Jane's Addiction) and Psi Com collaborations. Bizarre and interesting.

[Proof Sheet]

Originally Posted by O-tacular

My gripe with music over the last decade or more is that there's no humanity to it. Everything is produced on a computer and pieced together into a slick, soulless package. Same thing with artwork and instagram.

Exactly. Instagram ????? I have vaguely heard of that. Is it like that Facebook thing that I don't think will take off. Basically a format to keep vaguely in touch with people that you can't be bothered to really keep in touch with and they can give you updates on their life without any context that leads to drama and misunderstandings. Is that the same Facebook you are talking about?

[O-tacular]

Originally Posted by Proof Sheet

Exactly. Instagram ????? I have vaguely heard of that. Is it like that Facebook thing that I don't think will take off. Basically a format to keep vaguely in touch with people that you can't be bothered to really keep in touch with and they can give you updates on their life without any context that leads to drama and misunderstandings. Is that the same Facebook you are talking about?

Instagram was bought by Facebook but is a very different platform. It's not meant to post anything except pictures and videos. It's far worse of a time suck though as it leads to mindless scrolling through endless visual clickbait.

[esquire]

Originally Posted by O-tacular

Instagram was bought by Facebook but is a very different platform. It's not meant to post anything except pictures and videos. It's far worse of a time suck though as it leads to mindless scrolling through endless visual clickbait.

I was into Instagram for a couple of years but I got bored with it due to its sheer repetitiveness.

Plus, as with Facebook, the number of genuinely interesting personal posts was quickly dwarfed by commercially-oriented ones.

I still have my Instagram account but I deleted Facebook a decade ago.