The Great Canadian Shit Show Thread

[mistercorporate]

This thread is so cathartic, I've literally said all I wanted to say and am now officially speechless If Spliff and the other oilpatch trolls were around (I think they generally hang out in the CFL or Stadium threads) I'd probably have more material, but damn if this thread ain't uncannily peaceful!

[rousseau]

Originally Posted by Razor

I have to say.

During a night of passion, an ex -girl friend asked me to kiss her wear it stinks.

So I took her to Hamilton.

I've never liked this joke because it's so implausible. No woman in the history of the world ever said something like that. It's a fake construct thought up by a dude in order to take a potshot at someplace. In this case, Hamilton.

Yeah, I know, it's not meant to be great humour, but still, plausibility is so crucial. It's why Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (yay, Toronto plays Toronto!) is such a piece of crap that I couldn't make it all the way through, while Shaun of the Dead is utter genius.

What's his name, the main character, is a chick magnet with superpowers, and you're just supposed to accept that without any backstory? We're meant to suspend our disbelief at the likelihood that a wooden actor with the emotional range of a slab of plain tofu playing a character with the emotional range of a slab of plain tofu would have three girls fighting over him, and seven ex-boyfriends of one of them devoted to his destruction, and the ability to fly and flip around and not be killed by otherwise brutal physical trauma like a comic book character, simply because these days "geeks are cool," or some such shit?

Whereas Shaun of the Dead has a dependable internal logic that allows you to enjoy what's outlandish about it. Not to mention that it's clever, entertaining, and totally ace.

I want cutting, biting jokes about Hamilton, because they would serve as a tribute. Even the "armpit of Ontario" isn't bad, as you rotate the map to illustrate how southern Ontario looks like an elephant, and then you mention which city is the asshole of the province. Now that's funny.

[niwell]

Originally Posted by rousseau

Yeah, I know, it's not meant to be great humour, but still, plausibility is so crucial. It's why Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (yay, Toronto plays Toronto!) is such a piece of crap that I couldn't make it all the way through, while Shaun of the Dead is utter genius.

What's his name, the main character, is a chick magnet with superpowers, and you're just supposed to accept that without any backstory? We're meant to suspend our disbelief at the likelihood that a wooden actor with the emotional range of a slab of plain tofu playing a character with the emotional range of a slab of plain tofu would have three girls fighting over him, and seven ex-boyfriends of one of them devoted to his destruction, and the ability to fly and flip around and not be killed by otherwise brutal physical trauma like a comic book character, simply because these days "geeks are cool," or some such shit?

You pretty much missed the entire point of Scott Pilgrim, but to be fair it's not meant for your age demographic. It's a brilliant film on many levels, just as Shaun of the Dead is. And not just because it was set in Toronto (which is only because the graphic novel was).

[MolsonExport]

Originally Posted by O-tacular

Anyone else keep getting endless variations of ads with pictures of Melissa McCarthy saying she's dead or has a secret? There's also a bunch with Oprah. Fucking click bait!

All the fucking time. Remember snivelling Ellen, and the notion that she "lied" to her fans? I hate the fucking bullshit click bait crap.

[O-tacular]

Originally Posted by esquire

I admit that part of me is secretly looking forward to the possibility of a Trump presidency in the US just for the immense, historical precedent-setting shit show potential that such a turn of events would hold... a truly epic shit show that no man, woman or child could ever dream of matching.

I think one man already matched that shit show and even inspired it.



The main difference of course being that as mayor of Toronto Rob Ford didn't have the potential to start a nuclear holocaust or simply tank the world economy.

[flipv]

I went to Vancouver for the sun and beaches but came back with a cold instead.

[MolsonExport]

Originally Posted by O-tacular

Bwahahaha! Don't forget MIGS!

haha, but multiple migs wasn't banned.


favabeans

[O-tacular]

Originally Posted by MolsonExport

All the fucking time. Remember snivelling Ellen, and the notion that she "lied" to her fans? I hate the fucking bullshit click bait crap.

How does such an industry succeed enough to actually exist?

[Mikemike]

^ I used to wonder, but now I look 17 again thanks to three different secrets. Which is why I have a mullet and a whispy peach-fuzz moustache. Nothing at all to do with the time I spent in a Fort Mac Work Camp, although I did get a few chances to trade mullet-styling tips.

[O-tacular]

Originally Posted by Mikemike

^ I used to wonder, but now I look 17 again thanks to three different secrets. Which is why I have a mullet and a whispy peach-fuzz moustache. Nothing at all to do with the time I spent in a Fort Mac Work Camp, although I did get a few chances to trade mullet-styling tips.

I'm still laughing as I type this! Thank you. I needed a good belly laugh today.

[O-tacular]

Originally Posted by MolsonExport

haha, but multiple migs wasn't banned.


favabeans

[rousseau]

Originally Posted by niwell

You pretty much missed the entire point of Scott Pilgrim, but to be fair it's not meant for your age demographic. It's a brilliant film on many levels, just as Shaun of the Dead is. And not just because it was set in Toronto (which is only because the graphic novel was).

Okay, I just looked up a review in the Guardian.

Edgar Wright takes the ache out of "achingly cool" with his entertaining, hyperactive gamer-geek comedy Scott Pilgrim Vs the World, set in freezing cold Toronto and based on the graphic novel series by Bryan Lee O'Malley. Despite riffing on some apparently emotional themes – male romantic status-anxiety is brought interestingly into parallel with Canada's cultural cringe to the United States – Wright insists on nothing more than comedy and the spectacle of pastiche, an entertainment of Seinfeldian inconsequence. The movie has been attacked in some quarters for lack of heart, and for an alleged lack of box office nous in pitching to a demographic that favours illegal downloads over ticket-buying. I can only say that where some see shallowness, I saw a witty interplay of surfaces and style.

https://www.theguardian.com/film/201...e-world-review

I obviously don't get it. Thing is, I don't think there's much to get, other than "this movie is a videogame." Seinfeld had narrative depth, and the whole "show about nothing" thing was disingenuous. While the frisson, the conflict, and the comedy arose out of the richly drawn characters, the plot lines and their motivations always made sense for who they were.

Shrug. You're right, I don't get it. When the only thing in the offing is "the spectacle of pastiche," it seems like there's nothing much to get.

[1overcosc]

Scott Pilgrim is a cult movie, essentially. Very, very well received among its target audience of hipster/geek millennials, but generally disliked by everyone else.

In 2050, when all the millennials become old folks, Scott Pilgrim will likely be one of the media products that symbolizes their nostalgia. It's fascinating to watch that transition happen. We're already seeing a taste of it from millennials with Pokemon... many of the young adults who got hooked on Pokemon GO last month were the same people who got caught up in the original Pokemon craze as children 15-20 years ago, and nostalgia was the main thing driving the popularity of the app.

[niwell]

Originally Posted by 1overcosc

Scott Pilgrim is a cult movie, essentially. Very, very well received among its target audience of hipster/geek millennials, but generally disliked by everyone else.

True, although I would say it tends to resonate best in that weird grey area between millennial and gen X - say late 1970s mid/late 80s. Essentially people that grew up with 8 and 16 bit video games. I'm in that range and everything hit home to me. My younger friends don't get it quite as much.

[Denscity]

I sure am tearing up seeing the Blue Jays choke it up heading towards the playoffs. But im not worried. After all 9 Canadian sports channels are done with the Jays it will be nothing but 24 hours Leafs and Raptors highlights.

[lio45]

Originally Posted by esquire

I admit that part of me is secretly looking forward to the possibility of a Trump presidency in the US just for the immense, historical precedent-setting shit show potential that such a turn of events would hold... a truly epic shit show that no man, woman or child could ever dream of matching.

I think you'd be disappointed. The POTUS alone can't do much; the system has been basically designed to handle a Trump every now and then.

Plus, I think if he does manage to win (which is still unlikely as of mid-Sept), then that will be thanks to having toned it down, and he'll be aware by then that the old him, the non-presidential loudmouth, should stay in the closet permanently.

The odds that he'll turn into a Rob Ford are slim. I may be wrong though.

[niwell]

Originally Posted by lio45

I think you'd be disappointed. The POTUS alone can't do much; the system has been basically designed to handle a Trump every now and then.

Plus, I think if he does manage to win (which is still unlikely as of mid-Sept), then that will be thanks to having toned it down, and he'll be aware by then that the old him, the non-presidential loudmouth, should stay in the closet permanently.

The odds that he'll turn into a Rob Ford are slim. I may be wrong though.

Well keep in mind Rob Ford actually managed to accomplish very little. The system worked and aside from a few easy wins he basically had everything he wanted blocked. He made a fool of himself when he was speaking, which is what made the headlines and what I think Trump would do. I've followed the whole debacle closer than I'd like to admit and I don't see any real evidence he's toned his persona down. I just don't think he can help himself. He's not a smart man IMO, and this is coming from someone who has argued that George Bush isn't nearly as dumb as people make him out to be (still a bad president though).

With Trump as president the world would't end, but we may have international gaffes rivalling HW throwing up on a dignitary. Policy wise we'd get whatever GOP faction is in favour calling the shots.

My bet would still be on Hillary though - if she's still ahead in a week's time I'd put money on it.

[ZeDgE]

Originally Posted by Mikemike

That's OK. Calgary's adoptive residents have invested so much of their identity in the awesomeness of their chosen home that they feel the need to defend it against every challenge.

The Zeal of a convert, as it were. Native Calgarians are much more reasonable. Willing to acknowledge flaws.

New Calgarians are like the Spanish Inquisition, only you expect them.

lol

I don't think I have ever met an actual person in real life in my whole time here (my whole life pretty much) that is like anyone in this forum. They couldn't give a rats ass what others say and know its not perfect here. Just go about their lives like everyone else.

People on online forums do not represent the masses out there at all.

Something else that grinds my gears about Canadians is cheering for sports teams just because they are Canadian... ugh

Fuck the Jays and the Raptors.

[lio45]

Originally Posted by niwell

Well keep in mind Rob Ford actually managed to accomplish very little. The system worked and aside from a few easy wins he basically had everything he wanted blocked.

Yeah, I know that -- when I said I did not anticipate that he'd actually turn out to be a Rob Ford in office, I had the antics in mind.

I don't see any real evidence he's toned his persona down. I just don't think he can help himself.

I see a correlation between keeping his mouth shut (thereby looking more presidential, or rather, less unpresidential, than previously) and his recent rise in the polls. If this new strategy of not being a caricaturally loudmouthed idiot ends up getting him to the White House against all odds, I would be surprised if he reverted to the version of himself that didn't do well. But maybe you're right, who knows.

My bet would still be on Hillary though - if she's still ahead in a week's time I'd put money on it.

At 1:1 I would also put money on HRC.

[CalgaryCheese]

Edmonton has a pretty nice new arena. Too bad there's no NHL team to play there!