The Great Canadian Sanitation Infrastructure Thread

[Nouvellecosse]

Originally Posted by Gresto

Driving south on the 115 about 10-12 years ago, I felt immense pressure building in my nether regions. Normally I can suppress a turd for days, but this one was colossal, long overdue, and not willing to be denied its egress. Given that we were still 45 minutes from home, and that the last gas station before the 401 was coming up hurriedly on the right, I had decisions. Nope, no way I'm shitting myself in rush-hour traffic. I screeched to a halt next to the pumps and dashed for the washroom. Barely had my ass come within the propinquity of the toilet's gaping maw than the redwood-sized log spurted forth. It was the relief of a thousand orgasms! The toilet felt otherwise. Amazingly, the log seemed to go down despite looking diametrically larger than the hole, but the commode, wheezing and grunting, struggled mightily. We got a couple bucks' worth of gas and hightailed it outta there.
The guilt was overwhelming. The next time we passed that gas station it had closed, and it remained so for years. Rumours have it that the plumbing still echoes with the baleful ghosts of my long-ago mammoth shit. The locals speak of it warily and in hushed tones, lest it enter their homes and permanently clog their pipes too.

That was a beautiful story. Thank you for sharing!

[O-tacular]

Originally Posted by Gresto

Driving south on the 115 about 10-12 years ago, I felt immense pressure building in my nether regions. Normally I can suppress a turd for days, but this one was colossal, long overdue, and not willing to be denied its egress. Given that we were still 45 minutes from home, and that the last gas station before the 401 was coming up hurriedly on the right, I had decisions. Nope, no way I'm shitting myself in rush-hour traffic. I screeched to a halt next to the pumps and dashed for the washroom. Barely had my ass come within the propinquity of the toilet's gaping maw than the redwood-sized log spurted forth. It was the relief of a thousand orgasms! The toilet felt otherwise. Amazingly, the log seemed to go down despite looking diametrically larger than the hole, but the commode, wheezing and grunting, struggled mightily. We got a couple bucks' worth of gas and hightailed it outta there.
The guilt was overwhelming. The next time we passed that gas station it had closed, and it remained so for years. Rumours have it that the plumbing still echoes with the baleful ghosts of my long-ago mammoth shit. The locals speak of it warily and in hushed tones, lest it enter their homes and permanently clog their pipes too.

All I can imagine is this:

[O-tacular]

I’ve seen some shit (pun intended)! The worst was the time I saw brown footprints exiting the bathrooms back when I worked at Sears, followed by the shellshocked asian man who waved me down to say: “you work here? There’s poops! Poops everywhere!”. I proceeded with caution and began to gag at the smell. The poop prints led me to a stall. What I saw in that stall confounded and horrified me and still haunts me to this day *cue Unsolved Mysteries music. Where I was expecting to see an epic pile of shit, there was instead a brown smeared tile floor and flushed toilet. The closer I looked the more horrified I became. Whoever took that epic shit must have picked it up and put it back into the toilet with their bare hands. The smear marks told the story.

Upon further reflection I surmised that an elderly customer who had to take a shit as fiercely as Gresto did at the gas station desperately searched the store only to find out that the public restrooms were all the way on the third floor. After making a valiant effort to hold it in, the poor bastard must have exploded as he pulled down his drawers. Feeling ashamed and probably suffering from some form of dementia, he ‘cleaned up’ the mess but walked through it in the process. Then he trailed the foul evidence back into the store.

[O-tacular]

The other Sears incident was more malicious. Someone took an upper decker and threw all of the used TP all over the floor. It was like a crime scene.

[Gresto]

Originally Posted by Nouvellecosse

That was a beautiful story. Thank you for sharing!

Did I win the Internet for today? Where do I pick up my fruit basket?

[harls]

Originally Posted by Proof Sheet

With that level of literary prose, he could write for Penthouse Forum in their true stories section

I see you are also a man of culture.

[Build.It]

Originally Posted by Gresto

Did I win the Internet for today? Where do I pick up my fruit basket?

Here you go

[MonctonRad]

What’s that brown stuff coating those berries? It couldn’t be…….

But given the topic of the thread, you never know.

[harls]

Originally Posted by Build.It

Here you go

That is disgusting and also topical.

[Xelebes]

Thread changed because it could actually be interesting.

Right now, a 1.5 m sanitation tunnel is being built alongside my place. PArt of an expansion of the sanitary tunnels in Edmonton to remediate the stink certain neighbourhoods were experiencing over the last decade due to too much pressure building up after all the expansion of people here.