Friday, January 12, 2024
Vienna, Austria: The Biggest Balls of Them All
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On our first full day in Vienna we had scheduled a couple of things to fill the day before attending an opera at the Vienna Staatsoper, or the State Opera House. First we went to the Narrenturm, or "Fool's Tower," the world's first psychiatric hospital. It now houses a museum of medical specimens such as horrifically deformed fetuses in jars and a diabetic's necrotic foot, also in a jar. Just lots and lots of things in jars, basically, plus skeletons, wax models of various disease progresses, skulls half-dissolved by long-term syphilis, and such. One skeleton was of a 19-year-old woman, so twisted by scurvy and stunted by malnutrition that she could have fit into a large backpack with undue strain.
The Narrenturm was a panopticon-style asylum, a circular building designed so that the patients/inmates could be easily observed. The various displays are in the original cells where people were locked up. Unfortunately, photography was not allowed inside the museum, but remember it if you really just have a passion for heads and other body parts in jars.
En route to the Narrenturm:
The museum is on the campus of the University of Vienna, where there was also a small Japanese garden.
The second item on the agenda was a tour of the Vienna
Rathaus, or City Hall, where we learned that they were having a
do that very night. The whole place was decorated with flowers for the
Blumenball or, if you prefer, the Flower Ball. Vienna is extremely big on balls. They have hundreds a year for every conceivable occasion and every conceivable trade union. We saw signs for the Policemen's Ball and the Pharmacists' Ball coming up. Meanwhile, our tour guide informed us that for the Blumenball, they were expecting more than 3,000 guests, and that Vienna City Hall hosts upwards of a thousand events a year.
Lunchtime in an extremely quiet Italian restaurant:
Someone was kind enough to climb up there and put a scarf around the neck of this statue on such a cold day. However, this raises an issue. In both Vienna and Prague, the buildings are bedecked with statues,
everywhere, and the statues are always
doing things. They point, they gesture, they swoon. Arms flung everywhichway. And the question this raises is: How often do those arms break off? What about fingers? Or legs, if they too are flung out in a kick? It seems like the stress of the wind, not to mention the stress of cold and heat, would eventually have limbs raining down on hapless pedestrians below.
Discuss.
Chinese for dinner.
That night was the opera, and the opera was
La fanciulla del West, The Girl of the West, by Puccini. And it turns out that The Girl of the West is perhaps the silliest damn thing I've ever seen, and I had to watch
West Side Story in high school so that's saying something. Perhaps the only performance I can think of any more ridiculous would be
Cats. It's one of those shows where you have to ask how on earth someone got grown adults to agree to behave this way to tell that story. For example, the opera ends with the two main characters flying away in a hot air balloon singing about how they will miss their beloved California.
Did I mention it's set in California? Well, it is. It was written in 1911, set in California during the gold rush, and the opening scene is in the Polka Saloon. It gets worse from there. For instance, if the characters are flying away in a hot air balloon, where are they going? It's California. You can't go any farther west. I suppose they could go to Oregon, or Washington, but where's the glamor. I suppose they could go to Nevada, but where's the water.
Imagine going all that way, to Vienna, to the State Opera, to see
that. We've now made it our life's mission to go see
Porgy and Bess at the Sydney Opera House at some point, just for spite, considering that
Porgy and Bess is set in South Carolina where we live.
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Afterward, still in shock at what we had seen, we elected to go eat cake at Cafe Mozart, followed by a walk.