Ah, cruising... That endeavor in which large Americans and Canadians (along with a sprinkling of Europeans) board what amounts to a floating twenty-story building to eat cafeteria food and have their every need catered to by denizens of various poverty-stricken Asian nations, plus the odd failed former Soviet republic. Cruising makes me feel decadent, which is not a feeling I enjoy. I found myself often battling the urge to snatch the vacuum from the hands of some tiny Filipina so she could go glug alcohol by the pool while I finished up in the hallway. I've cruised out of Charleston and Tampa, but this was my first time out of Miami, and we visited Nassau, St. Thomas, San Juan, and Grand Turk, then finished up with a couple of nights in Miami Beach.
Many pictures were taken. Shall we begin?
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The Flagler Monument. I had no idea this thing existed until CSI: Miami did a flyover of it.
...And a better view of the monument once we'd sailed a little closer. It's my understanding that due to its inaccessibility, it's rather hard to maintain and is therefore in pretty bad shape. Looks nice from afar though.
I have to say it's an odd feeling to go serenely sailing past the cityscape in what amounts to one of those buildings laid on its side.
Bye, Miami!
We arrived in Nassau the next morning, a Sunday.
A Christmas tree, Bahamas style.
There's an allegory in this somewhere. I just know it.
Just kidding.
This is a Christmas tree, Bahamas style. It really just didn't compute to be walking around underneath swaying palms, wearing shorts, while stores were blasting songs about snow and snowmen and sleigh rides, and all that other Christmas crap.
Note the cat. Note also that this will be far from the last example of such to be found. The Caribbean seems to be infested with the little buggers, in fact.
I think American gun fetishists are going about it all wrong, what with all these demands to be allowed to openly carry tactical nuclear weapons into Chipotle. I think they'd get a lot farther by demanding the right to place stylish cannons, such as these, outside their front doors.
The governor's residence. The governor, by the way, drives a Kia.
Cannon swag.
This hotel is part of the apparatus -- the
evil apparatus -- that funnels money to a certain horse-faced heiress. I am employed by this apparatus, and many are the time in which the whip is cracked and the command bellowed:
"WORK HARDER, WORK FASTER!! PARIS NEEDS ANOTHER NOSE JOB!!
The National Art Gallery of The Bahamas. Last time we were here it was closed for renovation. This time it wasn't, and so we entered and looked around, and found it more than worth the price of admission.
Meanwhile, at the national gallery...
Later, Bahamas! It's been real...
Stay tuned for Part 2!
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