Quote:
Originally Posted by 10023
One is transactional and one carries with it all of the attendant social obligations of friends or family.
I expect that I would often prefer having the nanny stay late rather than a relative coming over, for the same reason that it is much easier to go to a restaurant, pay the check and leave, rather than go to a relative’s house (bringing some kind of small gift, eating what you’re given, making conversation for probably several hours, etc).
Neither my mother nor mother-in-law are paid staff that could be called up at short notice to perform babysitting services for nothing but cash in return, but as a parent that is exactly what I would often want.
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there are absolutely times (such as short notice when my parents already have plans) that a baby-sitter becomes necessary, but we have an arrangement with my parents where they come over to our place to watch our kids for a weekly date night for me and my wife. there is no obligation for gifts or to eat any food or talk for hours or whatever. they love their grandkids and always jump at the opportunity to watch them if they are free.
my parents pick the kids up from daycare, bring them back to our place, feed them, play with them, put them to bed, and then watch a movie in our living room while my wife and i get some much needed time for each other.
they get to spend time with their grandkids (who they dearly, dearly love), our kids get to bond with their grandparents, and we get a night off. everybody wins!
and then there is the true magic of having nearby grandparents: when they take the kids over to their place for a whole fucking weekend!!!
again, i feel sorry for you that you find spending time with your relatives so onerous and unpleasant.