Suburban Sore Thumbs

[Buckeye Native 001]

"I loved my stay at the Excalibur in Vegas so much that I wanted to replicate it in a Grand Rapids suburb."

I don't see a moat, so I guess it lacks the animatronic dragon?

[craigs]

Originally Posted by Buckeye Native 001

"I loved my stay at the Excalibur in Vegas so much that I wanted to replicate it in a Grand Rapids suburb."

I don't see a moat, so I guess it lacks the animatronic dragon?

I wonder if the apartment complex staff have LARP uniforms?

[dc_denizen]

imagine being the lender for that thing.

imagine someone walks into your office , says yeah I'd like to build castle-shaped apartment complex, can you give me $50 million please..and you say, sure!

[SIGSEGV]

Originally Posted by craigs

I wonder if the apartment complex staff have LARP uniforms?

I don't see stables for resident's steeds... how is a knight supposed to get around?

[SIGSEGV]

Originally Posted by dc_denizen

imagine being the lender for that thing.

imagine someone walks into your office , says yeah I'd like to build castle-shaped apartment complex, can you give me $50 million please..and you say, sure!

Imagine being the architect for that thing...

To the firm's credit, they don't list it on their multifamily projects:
https://fuglebergkoch.com/projects/multifamily/

Edit: this article has some more context: https://mibiz.com/sections/real-esta...-luxury-living

I wonder what its occupancy looks like...

[lio45]

Originally Posted by deja vu

That Mecca clock tower complex is one of the ugliest things ever built. Speaking of kingdoms with ugly new architecture, the Grand Castle Apartments might be the worst offender on the west side of Michigan. Completed in 2018 in Grandville, MI (suburb of Grand Rapids). 15 stories / 178 ft -


Source

"Might be the worst offender on the west side of Michigan"?!?!? That's the understatement of the year!

[Buckeye Native 001]

Originally Posted by craigs

I wonder if the apartment complex staff have LARP uniforms?

Oh god, it's like a year-round Ren Fare in there...

[mhays]

The concept isn't the problem. It's the execution. They took a fanciful idea and made it look (from the air at least) like a prison.

[MolsonExport]

You haven't seen the inside. It is complete with vast array of medieval torture chambers, although just a look at the building itself can render its victims hopelessly blind.

[Crawford]

Holy shit, that building is bad.

What's the point of building a gigantic, urban-scaled apartment complex in basically random exurban West Michigan? And then doing an ultra-cheesy "medieval" theme that ends up looking like a supermax prison?

Wouldn't someone be embarrassed to bring a date or friends/family to their apartment here? Guarantee you're never getting laid.

[The North One]

The project has to be some kind of development scheme, nobody in Grand Rapids understands why it exists.

[3rd&Brown]

Devon Tower in Oklahoma City.

Such a stupid tower for a "city" with virtually no skyline or high rises.

It should of been conceptualized as a mid-rise campus with ground level retail to activate the neighborhood where it resides.

[Buckeye Native 001]

Originally Posted by MolsonExport

You haven't seen the inside. It is complete with vast array of medieval torture chambers, although just a look at the building itself can render its victims hopelessly blind.

Instead of modern plumbing, cisterns as far as the eye can see.

[Buckeye Native 001]

Also, before it was smited by lightning, would Big Butter Jesus off 75 in Monroe, OH have counted?

[Double L]

Imagine living in a Disney-themed-like apartment.

[MolsonExport]

Originally Posted by Buckeye Native 001

Also, before it was smited by lightning, would Big Butter Jesus off 75 in Monroe, OH have counted?

dp

[MolsonExport]

Originally Posted by Buckeye Native 001

Also, before it was smited by lightning, would Big Butter Jesus off 75 in Monroe, OH have counted?

Is that the same as Touchdown Jesus?



the burnt out Jesus frame is hilarious.

• Video Link

[tdawg]

That Disney Prison thing is a travesty.

[Buckeye Native 001]

Originally Posted by MolsonExport

Is that the same as Touchdown Jesus?

One in the same.

My favorite were the people who spell out "O-H-I-O" with Jesus as the "H"

[deja vu]

Haha, touchdown Jesus! Yes!

Wow, I'm loving all of the hate / comments on the "Grand" Castle. Does it help to know that they had the foresight to put a disproportionately small lion at the top peak? I think that ties it all together -


Source: Twitter

To be fair, the picture I posted originally was taken while it was still under-construction. It looks MUCH better completed (and in the waning daylight) And it IS surrounded by a moat (a moat of concrete and cars). Plenty of amenities, including walking distance to Mr. Muffler, and complimentary white noise from Interstate-196 -


Source: Grand Castle Gallery

I think the architecture of this is a good sign of our times though. It really embodies that "totally lost, completely chaotic, slapped-together, hollow dream of an existence" vibe, y'know? I read that they actually imported almost all of the labor from Florida, so similarities to architecture down there may not be completely coincidental. My only real gripe with that is that construction methodologies that are appropriate for Florida tend...not to be so appropriate for Michigan's climate. It's as if they realized their errors too late and are now trying to cover it up with wall climbing vines -


Source: Grand Castle Gallery

But no amount of ivy can rectify the hideousness of this complex. It is truly "Frozen" in time (this is perhaps the most beautiful presence that will ever grace this behemoth) -


Source: Grand Castle Gallery

It's probably safe to say that what this building lacks in grace, it doesn't make up for in detailing -


Source: Twitter

Truly authentic castle architecture ("we thought it would be nicer if the windows didn't open"). Technically, I think these are casements that swing IN to the room, which makes a lot of sense, if you don't think about it too hard -


Source: Twitter

It's kinda like cutting a pizza -


Source: Twitter

Not creepy at all -


Source: Twitter

Reminds me a bit of this (anyone?) -

Source: Pinterest

Or perhaps this?


Source: Pinterest

At least when you are inside, you can forget about how ugly the exterior is. Distract yourself with a book from the library (we made it easier for you to choose which book by leaving the shelves almost completely empty) -


Source: Grand Castle Gallery

And who wouldn't want to recreate in one of these cozy lounges? -



It's blue, therefore it's fun!



In conclusion, don't mess with Grandville (don't worry).

"FOR GRANDVILLE!!!!!!!!!"


Source: Grand Castle Gallery