2020 - Air Your Grievances

[Loco101]

Originally Posted by Peggerino

It's been a terrible year for so many reasons... One thing in particular I have been hating the self-righteousness a lot of people have seemed to acquire since quarantine.

First, there's people for whom COVID-19 is equivalent to the plague. For these people, anybody not self-quarantining at all times, not wearing a mask, or out and about is idiotic or evil. They yell at people, call fellow citizens 'covidiots', and generally seem to have a massive superiority complexes. For them, COVID-19 is the biggest problem in the world and suggesting otherwise means you're stupid or don't care about others.

Then, there's the opposite group who are convinced the whole thing is a scam and the only people smart enough to know the truth of the world is themselves and their stupid facebook group or something. They have to shove it in our faces of how we're all living a lie and are idiots for listening to scientists.

Last, and unrelated to the previous two groups, we now have people who are woke to black lives matter and are constantly pushing ideas of how white people are evil, Canada is evil, police are evil, liberalism is evil, etc. Similar to the first two groups, this population is also convinced they know "the truth" of society. If you don't agree with them, then you are a racist and don't deserve a voice on certain matters. Even if you're not white, if you don't buy into their talk then you are not considered a "real" non-white person.

As one of billions of people who have probably had the worst year of their lives due to the pandemic and things related to it, it has not been helpful to my mental health to be hearing this back and forth of how a select few know the truth of the world and the rest of us are idiots for not buying into their mantra. In all honesty, the self righteousness is still probably not in my top 5 of grievances for 2020 but it's definitely something that grinds my gears when I observe it.

</rant>

The same thing is happening even where I live with a population of 41,000. People are holding up signs that have extremely ridiculous messages. Your mental health and my mental health have been affected by the pandemic. But it is causing some people to become extremely looney to the point that they are publicly embarrassing themselves and they don't even realize it.

[Loco101]

I really hope that things go better for you SHH. Definitely stand up for yourself.

I've had the same thing happen to me in the federal public sector.

[SpongeG]

If I have a grievence it would be arthritis, tonight I am having a flareup in my hip, i can't walk normally, I cant sit comfortably and I can't lie down comfortably. It usually passes after 24 hours but in the meantime... it just starts randomly, its weird. Have lived with it for almost 12 years now and this year has been the most extreme.

So far this year I've had some of the worst flareups I've experienced. But it has helped me to get proper treatment this time which is having to go on chemo and give myself needles once a week which won't show any results for 3 months. My arm pain though which I had from March till early September has gone away though, nice to be able to wash my hair without wincing in pain. My fingers and one wrist also have started to lock up which I have to pull them out and it hurts like hell, mostly when I use them like getting dressed or doing things at work, so that's a new feature lol.

[Razor]

My grievances are pretty much like Peggerino.You have two categories of "Covidiots".
Those that wear a mask while driving alone in their car, or walking their dog in an abandoned park. Then you have those that think that this Pandemic is by design..That we in fact being acclimatized to an envitable Alien takeover from a species from Alpha Centauri who are coming to enslave us.

Seriously though, this year is like a freaking bad movie..We have this pandemic bookended by a major Australian bush fire and now the U.S west coast wild fires..What next..Solar flares in October?.Actual alien invasion in November? Yellowstone?..We are resilient like cockroaches.We'll take it as it comes I suppose.

I'm finally back to work now, but in a way being off most of the year has been a personal blessing..I delved into video editing, and since I play music as a hobby, I really got involved in doing up some online collaboration videos with some friends. Some local, some separated by distance. It's like a latest trend that I'm sure all of you have been noticing springing up during this COVID..I guess there's always a blessing in disguise during crisis times. Anyways, my gripe/grievances are basically with extremist groups whether it's Covid, extreme feminists, extreme right wing, anything extreme really..Best to be a centralist.

[O-tacular]

Originally Posted by SignalHillHiker

You know what? Fuck it lol AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This has definitely been my personal annus horribilis.

January: Blizzard that completely shut the city down for 8 days, mostly shut down for several weeks. It was far worse than the COVID lockdown.

February: Really started to consciously experience the mental consequences of a new superior at work. Not sure the reason (fear of job loss on their part?) but aggressive micro-management, constant undermining, daily smug criticism. I went from barely being able to do anything wrong to barely able to do anything right. Professional confidence? Gone. I used to love going to work, around February I started wanting to cry every morning, and going to bed at supper time after every day on the job.

March-June: Working from home, some distance from supervisor, much easier at work. But gradually had a full mental breakdown from loneliness. I've always been a heavy drinker but this escalated dramatically after the first few weeks of lockdown. 8-12 daily, often more. After those weeks of marinating myself in a depressant, reached the logical mental conclusion. Of course decided better and reached out to friends instead. Ended up staying a couple weeks at a friend's place, on and on. Haven't had a drink since and I'm leaning toward not reintroducing it to my life in any capacity. I enjoy the edibles when I want to relax, and I'm more in control even when I'm especially down.

July-August: Back in the office. No improvement. But I did notice that when my supervisor was off on vacation, everything went so much better - not just for me personally but for the overall work. So my professional confidence started to return a bit.

September: It was either quit (there's nothing else comparable here, certainly not at the same level of pay; so I'm not really free) or access EAP/workplace conflict resolution training/whatever else I could. So, now I'm seeing a coach weekly for a couple months. And keeping records. It's insane the impact just one individual can have on your career, mental health. Tragic, really. Makes me feel so ashamed. I can't believe I didn't see their incompetence and genuinely let myself get beaten down by them. I described some of the situations to my coach, and I did not exaggerate or embellish at all. And I didn't even mention the huge ones, only the few little incidents from recent days that were top of mind. And she said, "You need to keep a record of this for HR if it comes to that. What you're describing is a severe form of workforce bullying."

So yeah, a really, really shit year. "Life is short... but also unbearably long." I still scream at least once a day.

I was wondering why I hadn’t seen you on here in a while. Sorry to hear about your struggles. That boss definitely sounds abusive. You should invite them for lunch and take them to Ches’s so that pinhead can harvest their soul and turn their hide into a nice table cloth.

[O-tacular]

Originally Posted by PortaPetee

I spent the night in the ER because my stupid hard soled slippers, well, *slipped* on my hardwood stairs on the way to up to refill a wine glass. Said wineglass hit the top tread and broke and immediately drove itself into my ring finger. (Said ring finger is the same finger that I caught in an electric hedge trimmer almost exactly a year ago, severing an artery and some nerves and exposing (but fortunately not cutting) tendon and bone.)

Anyway this is a deep, clean cut that sort of bisects the tip of my finger, but it doesn't seem ant serious damage was done like last time. I hope this is not becoming an annual event.

On the plus side - I don't know if this is abnormal or not, but both times the pain was gone after one sleep. No pills needed.

Who wants wine?

Ouch! At first I thought you were going to say that you suffered a ring avulsion.

[O-tacular]

Originally Posted by Peggerino

It's been a terrible year for so many reasons... One thing in particular I have been hating the self-righteousness a lot of people have seemed to acquire since quarantine.

First, there's people for whom COVID-19 is equivalent to the plague. For these people, anybody not self-quarantining at all times, not wearing a mask, or out and about is idiotic or evil. They yell at people, call fellow citizens 'covidiots', and generally seem to have a massive superiority complexes. For them, COVID-19 is the biggest problem in the world and suggesting otherwise means you're stupid or don't care about others.

Then, there's the opposite group who are convinced the whole thing is a scam and the only people smart enough to know the truth of the world is themselves and their stupid facebook group or something. They have to shove it in our faces of how we're all living a lie and are idiots for listening to scientists.

Last, and unrelated to the previous two groups, we now have people who are woke to black lives matter and are constantly pushing ideas of how white people are evil, Canada is evil, police are evil, liberalism is evil, etc. Similar to the first two groups, this population is also convinced they know "the truth" of society. If you don't agree with them, then you are a racist and don't deserve a voice on certain matters. Even if you're not white, if you don't buy into their talk then you are not considered a "real" non-white person.

As one of billions of people who have probably had the worst year of their lives due to the pandemic and things related to it, it has not been helpful to my mental health to be hearing this back and forth of how a select few know the truth of the world and the rest of us are idiots for not buying into their mantra. In all honesty, the self righteousness is still probably not in my top 5 of grievances for 2020 but it's definitely something that grinds my gears when I observe it.

</rant>

I myself probably take the pandemic more seriously than most due to having a baby and family members with weakened immune systems. I don’t wear masks outdoors but take it very seriously indoors. It pisses me off whenever I see smug looking anti maskers strolling through the grocery store unmasked, even though it’s against the law now in Calgary.

It also pisses me off when people don’t respect social distancing when there is plenty of room to do so (ie passing on pathways, waiting in line, getting groceries).

[Coldrsx]

People deciding that working from home is what they want to do from now on.

[giallo]

Originally Posted by SignalHillHiker

You know what? Fuck it lol AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This has definitely been my personal annus horribilis.

January: Blizzard that completely shut the city down for 8 days, mostly shut down for several weeks. It was far worse than the COVID lockdown.

February: Really started to consciously experience the mental consequences of a new superior at work. Not sure the reason (fear of job loss on their part?) but aggressive micro-management, constant undermining, daily smug criticism. I went from barely being able to do anything wrong to barely able to do anything right. Professional confidence? Gone. I used to love going to work, around February I started wanting to cry every morning, and going to bed at supper time after every day on the job.

March-June: Working from home, some distance from supervisor, much easier at work. But gradually had a full mental breakdown from loneliness. I've always been a heavy drinker but this escalated dramatically after the first few weeks of lockdown. 8-12 daily, often more. After those weeks of marinating myself in a depressant, reached the logical mental conclusion. Of course decided better and reached out to friends instead. Ended up staying a couple weeks at a friend's place, on and on. Haven't had a drink since and I'm leaning toward not reintroducing it to my life in any capacity. I enjoy the edibles when I want to relax, and I'm more in control even when I'm especially down.

July-August: Back in the office. No improvement. But I did notice that when my supervisor was off on vacation, everything went so much better - not just for me personally but for the overall work. So my professional confidence started to return a bit.

September: It was either quit (there's nothing else comparable here, certainly not at the same level of pay; so I'm not really free) or access EAP/workplace conflict resolution training/whatever else I could. So, now I'm seeing a coach weekly for a couple months. And keeping records. It's insane the impact just one individual can have on your career, mental health. Tragic, really. Makes me feel so ashamed. I can't believe I didn't see their incompetence and genuinely let myself get beaten down by them. I described some of the situations to my coach, and I did not exaggerate or embellish at all. And I didn't even mention the huge ones, only the few little incidents from recent days that were top of mind. And she said, "You need to keep a record of this for HR if it comes to that. What you're describing is a severe form of workforce bullying."

So yeah, a really, really shit year. "Life is short... but also unbearably long." I still scream at least once a day.

This year has been really tough on me as well. Moving to a new city and country mere months before COVID hit does not bode well for one's social life. I've never been so socially isolated in my entire life. As a full on extrovert, it's slowly, but surely started to mess with my mental health. I've had to try really hard to keep it together some days. With the added stress of not being able to work in Korea (I was working in China via Korea before the borders got shut), worrying about one of my parents that's very much at risk, my cat dying and not really liking the city I'm in, it's been a "death by a thousand cuts" situation.

I feel like a douche whining about it, because there are so many more people worse off than me, but it is what it is. I need social connections for the sake of my sanity.

[O-tacular]

Originally Posted by giallo

This year has been really tough on me as well. Moving to a new city and country mere months before COVID hit does not bode well for one's social life. I've never been so socially isolated in my entire life. As a full on extrovert, it's slowly, but surely started to mess with my mental health. I've had to try really hard to keep it together some days. With the added stress of not being able to work in Korea (I was working in China via Korea before the borders got shut), worrying about one of my parents that's very much at risk, my cat dying and not really liking the city I'm in, it's been a "death by a thousand cuts" situation.

I feel like a douche whining about it, because there are so many more people worse off than me, but it is what it is. I need social connections for the sake of my sanity.

You’re not a douche for sharing your struggles. That’s what this thread is for. Think of it like a cathartic scream into the void. I can’t imagine living in another country away from friends and family during this time. Also being an extrovert would affect you more than an introvert.

[Acajack]

Originally Posted by PortaPetee

I don't feel this drew enough sympathy so I thought I'd display my art. Here's my wound:

]https://imgur.com/quWCANC

It reminded me of an axolotl

https://imgur.com/tpKipWL

So I made this:

https://imgur.com/XIBVzIY

So I'll be off. Continue to slobber all over one another's fuckparts and ignore newcomers. Byeeeeeeee.

Sorry to hear about your misfortune. Sometimes posts just slip through the cracks here. Don't sweat it as it's nothing personal.

And this place is not really hostile to newcomers.

[O-tacular]

Originally Posted by PortaPetee

I don't feel this drew enough sympathy so I thought I'd display my art. Here's my wound:

]https://imgur.com/quWCANC

It reminded me of an axolotl

https://imgur.com/tpKipWL

So I made this:

https://imgur.com/XIBVzIY

So I'll be off. Continue to slobber all over one another's fuckparts and ignore newcomers. Byeeeeeeee.

Not sure if serious? I responded. That made me wince. Nice photoshop btw.

[O-tacular]

Originally Posted by PortaPetee

I missed that completely! Is a ring avulsion when you flay your finger by pulling a ring off? Eeeeeeek.

Yes it is. It’s what happened to Jimmy Fallon. Don’t google it.

[Acajack]

Posted this in the Skybar but I think it answers the OP here too.

2020 has not really had a serious negative impact on work, finances, health or practical life for me.

But socially due to both government and personally imposed restrictions it has had a significant impact.

We were very active socially but maybe 75 percent of that has dried up. Many family and friends are anxious and are barely seeing anyone. Gatherings are limited and scrutinized for those willing to gather.

I have not really *lost* anyone due to this but cumulatively it is still like my social circle of people had three quarters of the people vanish from it.

At this point it is unclear to me if the people I lost touch with will ever be back the same way things were before. As some relationships just do not work virtuallly.

Most significantly we have a key member of our family who is very fragile and extremely stressed about COVID. As a result they have cut off almost all in-person contact with anyone. I don't know how much time this person has left so it bugs me a lot that my kids are increasingly distanced and may not see them again. Even though I totally understand the concern.

I am not depressed at all but I do sometimes think about all of this. It probably has a subconscious effect on me.

[dreambrother808]

Originally Posted by giallo

This year has been really tough on me as well. Moving to a new city and country mere months before COVID hit does not bode well for one's social life. I've never been so socially isolated in my entire life. As a full on extrovert, it's slowly, but surely started to mess with my mental health. I've had to try really hard to keep it together some days. With the added stress of not being able to work in Korea (I was working in China via Korea before the borders got shut), worrying about one of my parents that's very much at risk, my cat dying and not really liking the city I'm in, it's been a "death by a thousand cuts" situation.

I feel like a douche whining about it, because there are so many more people worse off than me, but it is what it is. I need social connections for the sake of my sanity.

You'd be a douche if you were whining to someone who's mom just died of COVID but other than that sorrow is not a competition and nobody wins. Everyone has the right to express grief.

"The worst grief in the world is always your own." Can't remember who said that or if I'm phrasing it correctly but I like the sentiment. Pain is pain and we all have to go through our own.

[Dengler Avenue]

I think the social implication of covid lockdown and distancing has finally gotten to me. At this moment, I just feel that everything is a waste of time, like, wtf...?

Initially, I was torn between brushing up on statistics* and proceeding with geological analysis of the freeway map that I "drew". (I have only gone to length to make sure that the proposals are topologically sound.)** Now I don't wanna do either...

* I've been jobless since August. I actually might have a job lined up for me pending the security clearance. I hope it passes. The sad thing is, if it somehow fails, I really will be jobless for the remainder of 2020; if it passes, I don't wanna go into work with this kind of sh*tty attitude.
** On one hand, I'm happy that I finally did something 3 years after I asked about TCH in Ontario. Special credit goes to swimmer_spe for teaching me how to read terrain contours on google map, without which skill I wouldn't have been able to pull this sh*t off. On the other hand, now that this is "done", so is my purpose, I feel. (I'm not suicidal, but this year is just, wtf...) Maybe I just lost too many braincells trying to look at 2469 ~ 2951 km of highways in 4.5 months. GlassCity was like, "This is more wild than the maps that I've made."

[MolsonExport]

Originally Posted by O-tacular

I myself probably take the pandemic more seriously than most due to having a baby and family members with weakened immune systems. I don’t wear masks outdoors but take it very seriously indoors. It pisses me off whenever I see smug looking anti maskers strolling through the grocery store unmasked, even though it’s against the law now in Calgary.

It also pisses me off when people don’t respect social distancing when there is plenty of room to do so (ie passing on pathways, waiting in line, getting groceries).

2nd that

[MolsonExport]

Originally Posted by O-tacular

Yes it is. It’s what happened to Jimmy Fallon. Don’t google it.

[MolsonExport]

I have it way better than many, and I feel a lot of sympathy for the struggles expressed by many SSP forumers on this thread. That having been said, the last 6 months have been shitty. Moving suddenly to online only teaching (try doing this when it is graduate students and a seminar format, as opposed to undergrad lectures, which is more straightforward albeit difficult). Both kids at home all day, everyday. Having to home school the kids while maintaining research, editing, and administrative duties (I have a lot of both, especially the former), with many more technological challenges...well it was just really inefficient. All my conferences were moved online or cancelled, which meant shitcanning planned trips to Marseille, Toulouse, Montreal, Seoul, and Budapest. Stuck toiling in my basement office for 75 hours/week, with few chances at any personal contact (except the indeterminate, endless zoom meetings); wife getting stir crazy, kids pissed off about their entire summer being ruined.

I had to take Covid very seriously as I have elderly parents on my side (my mom, who has been in Cancer surgery 4 times this year [my dad passed 11 years ago, cancer too]; wife's parents, of which one has cancer and the other is nearly 90 and very weak). One of my brothers lost his job so he went back to trying to pickle himself to death with alcohol, and I figure he's got a 50:50 chance of making it through the next few years. My other brother is just a batshit crazy conspiracy theorist, who argues about every single damned thing that there is to have an opinion about (who first believed that this was the implementation of the gov'ts plan to "kill us all", and later, believed the whole thing to be a hoax, undoubtedly cooked up by the Bilderburg group). One of my best friends lost his father to Covid.

But we have it pretty good, all things considered. Big house, big yard with in-ground pool. I put in a fire pit. We are on the edge of town, so it is easy to get out to nature for hiking. I did a ton of cooking; my wife went big into gardening, and the house has never looked so good. My job is secure, and I got a coveted new research position.

[esquire]

Originally Posted by MolsonExport

But we have it pretty good, all things considered. Big house, big yard with in-ground pool. I put in a fire pit.

When I moved three years ago I purposely avoided homes with pools on account of safety concerns related to having a pool with young kids... but knowing what I know now, I wish I could have that decision back.