It could be so much worse: Any of you could end up like my parents, who have a grandson that they've only ever met for 45 minutes the day he was born (11/5/2018). My brother and his wife decided to cut off all contact with us shortly after my nephew's birth, yet still live in the same metropolitan area as my parents.
I've personally never met my nephew. I've tried, goddammit, but my brother and his wife decided they don't want any of my side of the family in their lives. So...yeah. Tell me about what a burden it is to have aging parents nearby as opposed to a nanny (at least he/she is maximizing their full capitalist potential by earning money for providing childcare services, because apparently that's the only thing worth a god damn). Parents who, god forbid, you might want to rely on every once in a while to watch your child. What a horrible thing to have handy. :rolleyes: FWIW, I don't have any children myself, but I don't think I can ever forgive my brother for the amount of pain he's inflicted (whether intentional or not) on my parents for denying them time and memories they could have spent with their grandson. My dad stopped telling people at work he is a grandfather after growing tired of trying to come up with excuses when asked what he did with his grandson at Thanksgiving, Christmas and his 60th birthday. ***BACK ON TOPIC (SORT OF?)*** It's not the suburbs (yet...), but my parents and I have discussed going in on a condo together in Flagstaff. Apparently they'd still like to keep in contact with at least one of their children, and have a place to escape the heat every once in a while. My gf and I have a dog, which is kind of like having a grandson for my mother so we've got that going for us, which is nice. |
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Throwing money at the problem....isn't that always the easy way out of everything? |
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I'm sure there's something my parents and I did that was unforgivable (this is me and my kin we're talking about), I'd just love to know what the fuck it was? |
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He and I might disagree on some BS stuff, but at the end, nobody cares because we're family and that's what matters most. |
I thought those familial bonds were stronger than they were, but I've spent more energy than I'd like to admit ruminating over what happened and what could've been done differently.
Time is too precious for this kind of bullshit, I guess is what I'm trying to come to terms with. I just really hate seeing what it does to my parents (they're doing okay, all things considered) and am more protective of them now than I might have or should have been in the past. I even enjoy spending time with my girlfriend's mother, who just lost her husband of 41 years, so I'm struggling to comprehend the flippant remarks about not wanting to spend time with family. |
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I feel truly blessed to have a family that I truly do love and that I am truly loved by. I don't view that as "a problem", rather it is my foundation. I would trade it for nothing in this universe. |
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Human beings have organized into various groupings like "society" and "family" for a reason. |
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I don’t know anything about your family (if they raised you to be the way that you are, no offense, then perhaps they really don’t want to have anything to do with their kids, I guess...) but most grandparents love their grandchildren and want to help out to the ability that they can. |
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i'm sorry you have such a crappy family. that's gotta suck. |
^^^ He's not even doing a good job of being arrogant. If you were sufficiently arrogant you would believe that your parents must have done an amazing job since they produced something as awesome as you and therefore you should let them help raise your kids as much as possible.
That's how I feel, the older I get the more I appreciate just how special my parents are. I want to hurry up and have kids just so they can rub off on whatever little brats I churn out as much as possible. Quote:
Given his attitude towards mom and dad he might be disinherited yet again, poor guy... Quote:
Then again I would rather spend a summer weekend booze cruising on the river with my 84 year old grandma and my 70 something great aunt and uncle than sucking down $14 cocktails at a bar in Chicago. Not only is it more fun with better scenery, but the conversation with old people is wayyyyy better than with dipshit millennials in our peer group. I suppose the social issue may change for us once we have a kid and it reaches school age putting us in touch with other parents though. Late twenties and early thirties is a bit lonely with no kids. |
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My parents often talk about how once they had kids they found it very ease to make friends and grow your social network again. They've mentioned this independently of any lamenting on my part about a weakening social network. I've also felt an urge over the last few years to shore up some of my family relationships, siblings, parents, aunts and uncles, cousins etc. |
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I expect that I would often prefer having the nanny stay late rather than a relative coming over, for the same reason that it is much easier to go to a restaurant, pay the check and leave, rather than go to a relative’s house (bringing some kind of small gift, eating what you’re given, making conversation for probably several hours, etc). Neither my mother nor mother-in-law are paid staff that could be called up at short notice to perform babysitting services for nothing but cash in return, but as a parent that is exactly what I would often want. |
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The nanny needs a break too sometimes! Especially if she's been taking care of 10023 Jr and 10023 Jr.-ette since 8 o'clock in the morning! |
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