Calgary SSP gay life

[Chadillaccc]

Holy shit man. That is crazy, yeah my story could have easily escalated to that but thankfully it didn't. Your buddy sounds like my type of guy ;D

[Doug_Cgy]

Originally Posted by Chadillaccc

In my experience, Calgary has been pretty good as far as acceptance goes but a huge chunk of the guys here, especially between 18 and 30, are seriously crazy in one way or another... it probably has something to do with the oppressive nature of growing up gay in a conservative city, I had to deal with it(and the self-hatred that came with it) as well.

I will say this though, Calgary is the only city I have ever come close to having to beat the crap out of a couple red necks. They couldn't shut their mouths about my friend wearing a wig, so I almost had to take them all on... on the friggin C-train no less :S I had never experienced homophobia like that since leaving my hometown of Woodstock Ontario 5 years ago, was truly astonishing.


I think the "Vancouver is such a gay-friendly city" attitude comes from the fact that they have a village, a large area of the downtown peninsula where even closeted guys (IE. my ex) can feel safe holding their boyfriends hand and whatnot... plus there are multiple gay bars there in the village and also a few in other club areas in Vancity, plus one in New Westminster. Calgary only has 2 gay-specific bars left, so that could probably contribute to the propagation of Calgary not being a gay-friendly city.

Trust me, this happens in Vancouver and Toronto too. In fact, for a period a few years back, I believe Vancouver was actually designated the unnofficial "Gay Bashing Capital of Canada".

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/...article563507/

On top of that, I was actually called "fag" by a group of men as we walked out of the Wellesley Subway Station in Toronto (smack dab in the heart of the Village) following the Mariah Carey concert at ACC. Bigotry exists EVERYWHERE. It's truly no better or worse here.

Sidenote: There are actually 3 gay bars remaining. Backlot, Twisted and Texas Lounge. I do believe the internet/smart phones have a lot to do with it, also just the fact that people and places are becoming more accepting. In fact, Cowboys has a few of the Club Sapien & former Twisted Queens perform monthly, and they're doing a search for "Calgary's Next Drag Superstar" sponsored by OutTV and Gay Calgary Magazine:

https://www.facebook.com/#!/events/6...18/?group_id=0

[Chadillaccc]

Ugh, the bathouse bar. That's not really a destination for the general gay population, thankfully. My one friend dragged me there claiming he had forgot something there the last time... it turned out he only went there to buy poppers... I was so mad I was literally yelling at him in the bar. The guys in there were so gross and googly-eyed like they just wanted to pounce on anything tight under 25. Ugggggh, Texas Lounge

[Chadillaccc]

Originally Posted by Doug_Cgy

Trust me, this happens in Vancouver and Toronto too. In fact, for a period a few years back, I believe Vancouver was actually designated the unnofficial "Gay Bashing Capital of Canada".

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/...article563507/

On top of that, I was actually called "fag" by a group of men as we walked out of the Wellesley Subway Station in Toronto (smack dab in the heart of the Village) following the Mariah Carey concert at ACC. Bigotry exists EVERYWHERE. It's truly no better or worse here.

Sidenote: There are actually 3 gay bars remaining. Backlot, Twisted and Texas Lounge. I do believe the internet/smart phones have a lot to do with it, also just the fact that people and places are becoming more accepting. In fact, Cowboys has a few of the Club Sapien & former Twisted Queens perform monthly, and they're doing a search for "Calgary's Next Drag Superstar" sponsored by OutTV and Gay Calgary Magazine:

https://www.facebook.com/#!/events/6...18/?group_id=0

Wow that Globe and Mail article is really eye-opening. I always thought it was a good thing that Davie Village was more integrated with the city than other gay villages are... but I guess at the same time, that can make it more dangerous... especially since the hill kinda separates one bar area from the other and that stretch between them can probably be pretty dangerous. Didn't know a guy had gottan brain damage from an attack outside the fountainhead. I love that bar. Wow that is horrible and almost disconcerting.

[Radley77]

Originally Posted by Doug_Cgy

Trust me, this happens in Vancouver and Toronto too. In fact, for a period a few years back, I believe Vancouver was actually designated the unnofficial "Gay Bashing Capital of Canada".

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/...article563507/

On top of that, I was actually called "fag" by a group of men as we walked out of the Wellesley Subway Station in Toronto (smack dab in the heart of the Village) following the Mariah Carey concert at ACC. Bigotry exists EVERYWHERE. It's truly no better or worse here.

Sidenote: There are actually 3 gay bars remaining. Backlot, Twisted and Texas Lounge. I do believe the internet/smart phones have a lot to do with it, also just the fact that people and places are becoming more accepting. In fact, Cowboys has a few of the Club Sapien & former Twisted Queens perform monthly, and they're doing a search for "Calgary's Next Drag Superstar" sponsored by OutTV and Gay Calgary Magazine:

https://www.facebook.com/#!/events/6...18/?group_id=0

Cowboys?! That's hilarious. I went to the deadmau5 concert a few weeks ago, and there were a handful of obviously gay guys that tried (and failed!) to pick up straight men. Noone was beat up and a few laughs were had.

One of the things I hate about Toronto gays is that they are also influenced a lot by unions and radical environmentalists, and there is a heavy presence of that in there pride parades. And in Vancouver, it seems, every gay I know there is a commerce graduate and in public relations.

Alberta gay culture beats to it's own drum IMO.

I'd love to see an obviously gay owned/friendly diner open in Calgary (Fountainhead is pretty awesome, and wish there was something like that here). I only go to the clubs a few times a year, and I HATE the owner of Twisted Element for kicking me out once due to making out with a chick. I've heard rumours about Vicious Circle becoming a gay club in the past few months, not sure if that is true...

[artvandelay]

I always thought that "homosexual" was a more formal/polite term for gay. The more you know.

[MarkL]

Originally Posted by UofC.engineer

That's awesome to hear!!! (The part I quoted and not the first part you mentioned)

My cousins live in Vancouver and everytime I visit there is one person in their group of friends that always remarks "Calgary is such a homophobic city, Vancouver is such a gay friendly city." I know they are just trying to get under my skin and bragging but it ALWAYS pisses me off. And I can't really back it up since I only had one openly gay friend but he sadly moved to Vancouver.

...Vancouver is a nice city but the people can be such pompous jackasses

Oh I loathe the "place" myths as well. It seems we're hardwired as humans to create these myths: Vancouver is gay friendly, Toronto is multicultural, Montreal is the epitome of culture, etc. It doesn't matter if any of it is true, and in many cases it isn't or isn't anymore. But try arguing with somebody spouting about these things, and prepare for a fight.

It doesn't matter that there's been a huge amount of gaybashing in Vancouver, or that it sadly happens everywhere, you're not going to convince them they're wrong. It's part of their place identity.

It doesn't matter that Toronto elected Rob Ford their mayor, and Calgary Naheed Nenshi. Toronto is still the multicultural utopia of the world, and Calgary is still a bunch of white rednecks.

My favourite example of this was an article (which I can't be bothered to find right now) that listed the participation rates of cultural activities across Canada. Montreal actually had one of the worst participation rates. The rabid howling in the comments sections about how the article was a lie was truly ludicrous.

[Wigs]

Calgary may not have a "gay village" but the Beltline is definitely home to the largest LesbianGayBiTransgendered concentration. I remember reading a FFWD article a year, year and a half ago maybe?(that I can't seem to find online) that stated 30-35% of Beltline's residents are LGBT.

[kw5150]

The homosexuals are "about" (in the Beltline). Grrrrr Woof

Originally Posted by WIGS

Calgary may not have a "gay village" but the Beltline is definitely home to the largest LesbianGayBiTransgendered concentration. I remember reading a FFWD article a year, year and a half ago maybe?(that I can't seem to find online) that stated 30-35% of Beltline's residents are LGBT.

[freeweed]

Originally Posted by Chadillaccc

I've heard that idea tossed around quite a bit that because of apps like Grindr, Scruff, Growlr, etc.. that we just don't need the bars anymore cause now you just go online to find a hookup(gross), and that most clubs are safe for gay guys and couples now... but if that were the case community wide (and by that I mean the whole north american gay world) than why hasn't it happened in Toronto, Vancouver or Montreal? I guess Vancouver has lost a couple bars, but after Odyssey closed, Oasis opened up. Calgary just keeps losing and losing bars and now all we're left with is the worst run club in the country run by the worst people I've ever had the misfortune of learning about, and the BackLot which I love but it's so small. Though, I have heard rumours that a group is looking for locations in the eastern Beltline to reopen the Eagle, and rumours about a new gay lounge/bar opening up too. So who knows, I guess.

Of course I have no idea how the real world actually works as everything I see is second-hand and anecdotal here, but... in my naive optimism, I see this more as the gay community finally becoming something that is not "other".

If gay bars exist mostly for the purposes of "hooking up", then they won't be needed much longer. Welcome to straight life - the bar is one of the worst places to "hook up" and the only people who do much of this are complete douchebags and women with incredibly low self-esteem. And I say this as someone who did it for many years, I'm not trying to pass judgement on people.

I always assumed that gay bars still exist due to them being a "safe place" - ie: going to a "regular" bar and making our with your bf could lead to problems.

Personally, I hope the day comes soon where "gay bar or online (gross)" sounds like a silly thing to say. Because gay people can "hook up/meet" in all the non-bar places straight people do.

Of course I could be completely wrong here. Again, second-hand and anecdotal. While I've occasionally been mistaken for gay, and have had some minor trouble as a result, I obviously have no direct daily experience with the challenges. Perhaps I'm being really naive.

[O-tacular]

Originally Posted by Radley77

I've heard rumours about Vicious Circle becoming a gay club in the past few months, not sure if that is true...

When I was at ACAD 5 or 6 years ago it was generally known that Vicious Circle was a gay bar, or at least hang out.

[Rusty van Reddick]

The internet has destroyed the gay bar scene in almost every city. I hate when Calgary gets singled out for this. I also don't think that this is a bad thing- at all. Since the 1960s gay bars have been THE- not a, but THE- institutional focus for the gay community. Political campaign? Hit the bars. Health outreach? Hit the bars. Police looking for somebody (runaway, perp, witnesses, whatever)? Hit the bars. And all of this "community" work was done, of necessity, at places that cater to people consuming alcohol. It's really mind-boggling but that's how things used to be. They aren't anymore and thank God.

I've never had substance issues- I went to gay bars in college and grad school to get laid and for no other reason. I almost never bought alcohol when I went out- cranberry juice and soda, no lie. But the number of people sucked into alcoholism and other sorts of substance abuse just because the only safe place for them was a bar- and there was the same crowd out every night of the week- is something that I celebrate being on the way out.

[RWin]

Originally Posted by WIGS

Calgary may not have a "gay village" ...

Maybe all we really need is a human village. Everyone welcome. No one excluded. Is Calgary generally like this? I can't think of many parts of town where I truely feel uncomfortable.

[Deepstar]

Maybe I'm way off here, but I thought I remember hearing about some sort of iPhone or Blackberry app out there that would tell you when other gay people were nearby, and thus not needing to necessarily go to a gay bar.

[kw5150]

Its called grindr and I have never used it. Its gross and strange to me.

[freeweed]

Originally Posted by Deepstar

Maybe I'm way off here, but I thought I remember hearing about some sort of iPhone or Blackberry app out there that would tell you when other gay people were nearby, and thus not needing to necessarily go to a gay bar.

Do we have this sort of thing for willing, attractive straight girls?

[RWin]

Originally Posted by freeweed

...willing, attractive straight...

Yes, but it will only give you two out of three.

[freeweed]

Originally Posted by RWin

Yes, but it will only give you two out of three.

It used to be hot, single, sane - pick two... close enough I guess.

HEY wait a second, I like yours better. If she's willing and attractive - why would I care if she's straight? Guess I should qualify that - willing *with me*.

[Rusty van Reddick]

Originally Posted by Deepstar

Maybe I'm way off here, but I thought I remember hearing about some sort of iPhone or Blackberry app out there that would tell you when other gay people were nearby, and thus not needing to necessarily go to a gay bar.

Gay people aren't interchangeable... I got this a lot in college- "but you have to like him, you're both gay!" The fact that there are "gay people nearby" would have always been irrelevant for me because then as now I am actually attracted to maybe 1% of gay men.

There are tons of apps and mobile sites. grindr, growlr, guyspy, even one for WP7/8 called- I kid not- bender. Then there are mobile versions of gay.com, bearwww.com, bear411.com, pretty much every gay chat/personals site.

[freeweed]

Originally Posted by Rusty van Reddick

Gay people aren't interchangeable... I got this a lot in college- "but you have to like him, you're both gay!" The fact that there are "gay people nearby" would have always been irrelevant for me because then as now I am actually attracted to maybe 1% of gay men.

To be fair, the same perception exists about young straight men - "you have to like her, she has boobs".

I do find it a fair bit funnier when people use it towards gay men though. As if every time a group of them hang out together (say, at work, or doing any sort of activity where men congregate) a spontaneous orgy will just break out. I mean, they're all gay and stuff, right?