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  #81  
Old Posted Jan 14, 2013, 8:51 PM
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Originally Posted by monocle View Post
Please explain. Do you find Turks attractive?
Trying googling 'turkish oil wrestling' and you might understand the allure.

---

I don't find 'homosexual' overly objectionable, but I hate being called 'a homosexual'. Identity is something that a lot of straight people don't really have to struggle with, and so it might be difficult to understand. Strictly speaking, yes, I am homosexual, but that only touches on the sexual aspect of my identity. 'Gay', on the other hand, is different in a way I can't quite articulate at the moment.

The second reason that gay is generally preferred is due to the fact that it is almost universally the name gay people choose to identify with. If someone refers to 'a homosexual', I almost immediately get the impression that it's something they aren't entirely comfortable with and that makes me uncomfortable too.
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  #82  
Old Posted Jan 14, 2013, 9:08 PM
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I just googled it. Are you trying to get me fired? haha.

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Originally Posted by jeremy_haak View Post
Trying googling 'turkish oil wrestling' and you might understand the allure.

---

I don't find 'homosexual' overly objectionable, but I hate being called 'a homosexual'. Identity is something that a lot of straight people don't really have to struggle with, and so it might be difficult to understand. Strictly speaking, yes, I am homosexual, but that only touches on the sexual aspect of my identity. 'Gay', on the other hand, is different in a way I can't quite articulate at the moment.

The second reason that gay is generally preferred is due to the fact that it is almost universally the name gay people choose to identify with. If someone refers to 'a homosexual', I almost immediately get the impression that it's something they aren't entirely comfortable with and that makes me uncomfortable too.
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  #83  
Old Posted Jan 14, 2013, 9:29 PM
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Silly question, but is there an anonymous poll option? I'd love to get a sense of just how much over-represented the gay community might be here.

All my life I've heard numbers anywhere from 1% to as much as 25% of the general public, and my impression in recent years is that rigorous studies show it close to 10% (is this accurate?). I'd say it's easily double or triple that here.
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  #84  
Old Posted Jan 14, 2013, 9:40 PM
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Originally Posted by Rusty van Reddick View Post
Seriously? I'd think if I were Asian I'd have a different daddybear every night. It's unbelievable how many of these guys are looking for "young, smooth, Asian" in their profiles. For every time you've bee rejected for being Asian I can guarantee I've been rejected for NOT being Asian. And when I was eg in college I'd answer personal ads and get the shaft on meeting because when I said I was, say, 21, they were expecting a- let's say a porpoise, and they got a bearcub instead. Okay, that didn't happen a lot, but I got lectured by this tired old queen about how I was young and should try to look it including - ick ick ick - shaving my body. Waxing didn't exist back then (at least not for men). I always assumed that if I was Asian I'd have more tail than something with lots of tails.
Yeah I have gotten that a lot. I just turned 22 and now I'm not young enough for a lot of the guys I'm attracted to lmao! j/k. I stopped manscaping years ago and am better for it But I think these days it's a pretty even split between bears that like cubs and bear that like twinks. But most of the jockey types don't like twinks, they want other jocks or muscle cubs. I guess I'm a cub or a bit of a muscle cub.
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  #85  
Old Posted Jan 14, 2013, 9:41 PM
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Ps. I looove Turkish/Syrian/Israeli/Palestinian/Cypriot guys too WOOOOOF!
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  #86  
Old Posted Jan 14, 2013, 9:43 PM
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Originally Posted by ssiguy View Post
Today, the bar and ghetto scenes, especially in the big cities, are strickly for students, tourists, and professional fags.
And homeless people- lots and lots of homeless people. And hundreds of guys on, to put it euphemistically, "permanent disability." I found Le Village Gai in Montreal so damn depressing when I was there in August... not sure what I was expecting. As bad as Church.
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  #87  
Old Posted Jan 14, 2013, 9:50 PM
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Yeah I have gotten that a lot. I just turned 22 and now I'm not young enough for a lot of the guys I'm attracted to lmao! j/k. I stopped manscaping years ago and am better for it But I think these days it's a pretty even split between bears that like cubs and bear that like twinks. But most of the jockey types don't like twinks, they want other jocks or muscle cubs. I guess I'm a cub or a bit of a muscle cub.
Lots of bears like other bears. Trust me on this.

Some parts need manscaping... it's the chest waxing I can't stand.
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  #88  
Old Posted Jan 15, 2013, 5:43 AM
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The 10% figure often quoted is complete crap. It originally came from the Kinsey Report in the early 1950s and was the first real attempt in the US to put statistics to American's sexuality. It stated the homosexuality rate was 10% of the total population.

Some gay rights groups advocated the use of that stupid figure but the report was so flawed in how it was carried out that it bears no weigth among contemporary sociologists. The only thing it really did was bring the topic of homosexuality "out of the closet" but as far as statistical analysis goes it's a bad waste of a tree.

The report was done only on a university campus and only in Liberal Arts section.............not a cross section of the populas but Kinsey thought it was fine. Kinsey was either gay or bisexual and went out of his way to create figures that made homosexuality far more prevelent than it is. He stated that in some cultures upwards of 40% of the adult population is gay or bisexual which is complete crap.

The modern and generally acknowledged figure cross culturally is estimated to be 3% of the adult population is strickly homosexual and approximately another 7% to 8% are bisexual.

Homosexuality has some interesting genetic characteristics...........identical twins are far more likely to both be gay than if they were simply regular siblings. Also the more children born by a mother the chance of having a gay child grows far faster than it statistically should. Technically every child should have a 3% chance of being a gay adult but that is not the case..............it is about 5% for 2 children family {not 6% as it staistrically should be} but at the same time a family with 6 children should have an 18% of one gay adult child but the figure is closer to 23%.
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  #89  
Old Posted Jan 15, 2013, 7:23 AM
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Jeremy, you just gave me a new sport to try out. Googling turkish oil wrestling has given me new reasons to use the internet.
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  #90  
Old Posted Jan 15, 2013, 7:38 AM
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Originally Posted by Chadillaccc View Post
Exactly. Every single person in my hometown thought it was like "Hey you're both gay so you should date"... uhm... I don't know if people realize but gay men are pretty much the most picky people in the world, and most masculine dudes can't stand the flamey ones, at least romantically.
The difference in the gay world as opposed to the straight world is that while straight men are almost equally driven by sex, gay men tend to be overt about it and can get away with it more. The way gay men tend to meet up isn't by common interest, although it does happen, the more common way is to judge how sexually attracted you are to someone. Gay men don't meet other men - at least a majority don't - at interest groups, at a university class, at a church, or at many places that straight guys pick up girls. Gay men pick up men almost exclusively at dating sites, bars, and hookup apps. Its a dynamic that is unique to the gay world in the proportion of how interactions occur.

I wouldn't call it being picky as much as just being a sexually oriented culture. And not that there is anything wrong with sex or being very oriented by sex, but it is what it is.

Best example I can think of is a friend of mine in the Falls. We were together one time in a group and someone came onto him that he didn't particularly find attractive. I thought the guy was attractive and would have loved the attention, but all day he complained over and over about how that freak was trying to be nice to him and in return my 'friend' was borderline verbally abusive to him... Yet some other guy he wanted to bang (and I did not find attractive) barely said hi and my 'friend' was all attentive and giving him his life story and how awesome he is. It was rather pathetic.

Gay men do have a knack for being conceited, to see such a nice guy be almost verbally thrashed just for being nice and then seeing the polar opposite really said more about my 'friend' than anything, hence why I don't hang out with said 'friend' that much anymore. Many gay guys are almost exclusively sexually oriented and can't see the forest for the trees. I admit I was like this when I was 20, but now that I am 30 I don't feel the same. Too many guys who are gay, as they age, don't throw away their teenage habits and mature into adults, which I think is why so many gay men are single into old age.

Although there's nothing wrong with sex if you're not in a relationship and you just need to get your rocks off and want to go for it. But I've always been the type of person not to understand why you bother being in a relationship if you're banging other people, it demeans the point of a relationship.

I've spent years trying to find boyfriends, and in my particular situation trying to find a willing partner to settle with, even marriage. But gay men I've met wouldn't have any level of responsibility to another human being, they are way too interested in being an individual who has no responsibilities to anything. If I were straight, I could have found a woman years ago who would have stood together with us as we forged our life, even if it were cross border.

But sex? Yea, that's easy and accessible anytime.

//rant over, and no it wasn't directed at you Chad even though I quoted you. Just some random thoughts and observations from my life...

Last edited by Dr Nevergold; Jan 15, 2013 at 7:50 AM.
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  #91  
Old Posted Jan 15, 2013, 11:05 AM
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Originally Posted by jeremy_haak View Post
If someone refers to 'a homosexual', I almost immediately get the impression that it's something they aren't entirely comfortable with and that makes me uncomfortable too.
It just sounds...so 1950s-ish. Like the N word or the C word or the J word to describe African Americans, Chinese and Japanese, respectively.
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  #92  
Old Posted Jan 15, 2013, 11:08 AM
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The difference in the gay world as opposed to the straight world is that while straight men are almost equally driven by sex, gay men tend to be overt about it and can get away with it more. The way gay men tend to meet up isn't by common interest, although it does happen, the more common way is to judge how sexually attracted you are to someone. Gay men don't meet other men - at least a majority don't - at interest groups, at a university class, at a church, or at many places that straight guys pick up girls. Gay men pick up men almost exclusively at dating sites, bars, and hookup apps. Its a dynamic that is unique to the gay world in the proportion of how interactions occur.

I wouldn't call it being picky as much as just being a sexually oriented culture. And not that there is anything wrong with sex or being very oriented by sex, but it is what it is.

Best example I can think of is a friend of mine in the Falls. We were together one time in a group and someone came onto him that he didn't particularly find attractive. I thought the guy was attractive and would have loved the attention, but all day he complained over and over about how that freak was trying to be nice to him and in return my 'friend' was borderline verbally abusive to him... Yet some other guy he wanted to bang (and I did not find attractive) barely said hi and my 'friend' was all attentive and giving him his life story and how awesome he is. It was rather pathetic.

Gay men do have a knack for being conceited, to see such a nice guy be almost verbally thrashed just for being nice and then seeing the polar opposite really said more about my 'friend' than anything, hence why I don't hang out with said 'friend' that much anymore. Many gay guys are almost exclusively sexually oriented and can't see the forest for the trees. I admit I was like this when I was 20, but now that I am 30 I don't feel the same. Too many guys who are gay, as they age, don't throw away their teenage habits and mature into adults, which I think is why so many gay men are single into old age.

Although there's nothing wrong with sex if you're not in a relationship and you just need to get your rocks off and want to go for it. But I've always been the type of person not to understand why you bother being in a relationship if you're banging other people, it demeans the point of a relationship.

I've spent years trying to find boyfriends, and in my particular situation trying to find a willing partner to settle with, even marriage. But gay men I've met wouldn't have any level of responsibility to another human being, they are way too interested in being an individual who has no responsibilities to anything. If I were straight, I could have found a woman years ago who would have stood together with us as we forged our life, even if it were cross border.

But sex? Yea, that's easy and accessible anytime.

//rant over, and no it wasn't directed at you Chad even though I quoted you. Just some random thoughts and observations from my life...
^ That sums up pretty much the Gay experience...it does make me wonder if SSM is really just a fantasy. I've honestly stopped caring if I ever end up with anyone...and really, that's not gotten me ANYWHERE.
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  #93  
Old Posted Jan 15, 2013, 11:10 AM
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Everyone has gaydar.
The question should be, how GOOD is your gaydar?
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  #94  
Old Posted Jan 15, 2013, 11:11 AM
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Originally Posted by Rusty van Reddick View Post
Seriously? I'd think if I were Asian I'd have a different daddybear every night. It's unbelievable how many of these guys are looking for "young, smooth, Asian" in their profiles. For every time you've bee rejected for being Asian I can guarantee I've been rejected for NOT being Asian. And when I was eg in college I'd answer personal ads and get the shaft on meeting because when I said I was, say, 21, they were expecting a- let's say a porpoise, and they got a bearcub instead. Okay, that didn't happen a lot, but I got lectured by this tired old queen about how I was young and should try to look it including - ick ick ick - shaving my body. Waxing didn't exist back then (at least not for men). I always assumed that if I was Asian I'd have more tail than something with lots of tails.
http://www.douchebagsofgrindr.com/

^ Prepare to lose a bit of faith in humanity.
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  #95  
Old Posted Jan 15, 2013, 3:43 PM
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The modern and generally acknowledged figure cross culturally is estimated to be 3% of the adult population is strickly homosexual and approximately another 7% to 8% are bisexual.
Interesting. I suspect I'm seeing a lot of people adding the 2 figures together and using that to proclaim "this is how many gay people there are".

Either I self-select for gay friends, or bisexuals are more closeted than strict gays, because no way do I see a 2:1 ratio. In my personal experience the ratio is at least the other way around, and probably closer to 3:1 gay:bi.
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  #96  
Old Posted Jan 15, 2013, 5:53 PM
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http://www.douchebagsofgrindr.com/

^ Prepare to lose a bit of faith in humanity.
Why aren't you choosing to find the millions of guys who are attracted to Asians? And there's more ageism there but see that doesn't bother me because a sex site is about finding somebody you're sexually attracted to. I've seen way more "no twinks" at the sites/apps that cater to my tastes than "no over 25." If that's what they want, fine, but I'm blessed by having ABSOLUTELY ZERO INTEREST in any of these guys in the first place. I can see how you'd be offended but you can focus on other things.

Anyway saying "I'm not sexually attracted to Asians" is not racist. Not remotely. I'm not sexually attracted to women- that doesn't make me sexist. Straight men not being attracted to men doesn't make them homophobic. Saying "I refuse to hire blacks" or "Asians shouldn't be allowed in universities" is racist.
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  #97  
Old Posted Jan 15, 2013, 6:06 PM
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It just sounds...so 1950s-ish. Like the N word or the C word or the J word to describe African Americans, Chinese and Japanese, respectively.
Hmm, homosexual isn't a word used in the same context as the "n" word at all, its a clinical word. Its the word that people use in a scientific setting. And yes, if its a casual setting and someone is uncomfortable or doesn't understand gay culture they would probably be more proned to use the word homosexual.

IMO the only word that is analogous to n*gger is faggot. Queer isn't even a word that comes close to faggot, because many gay men and women wear the queer title proudly, kind of how a lot of black folk in the US call themselves niggas proudly. Now queer is used probably second in command to fag as a "negative" word, but I'd say it isn't necessarily offensive in the same way fag is.

^On the Grindr thing, the first year Grindr was released I was on it almost nonstop just scoping things out. Over time I realized several things about Grindr... I would say a huge proportion of profiles on there are fake pics someone snapped and uploaded to pretend to be someone else. Also, if anyone is just 'looking for friends' its a firewall, not reality. Every guy who posts 'just looking for friends' on an exclusive hookup app is still willing to hookup without knowing your name. Many guys who are 'just looking for friends' won't message back if they don't think you're the hottest guy ever, hence they are looking for more than friendship.

I deleted Grindr and have no intentions of installing it again.
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  #98  
Old Posted Jan 15, 2013, 6:45 PM
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It's weird hearing other people's experiences. Nearly all of my gay friends are married, or are engaged. Maybe they are weird or something. I have had trouble keeping in touch with some gay friends who were into the scene, invites over for supper for example to be social seemed like pulling teeth. And simply changing my status from single to in a relationship it seems is enough to lose "friends" that were out with nearly every weekend before.
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  #99  
Old Posted Jan 16, 2013, 12:55 AM
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BTW, I changed the title of the thread to gay life instead of homosexual.
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  #100  
Old Posted Jan 16, 2013, 6:22 AM
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Originally Posted by Brandon716 View Post
The difference in the gay world as opposed to the straight world is that while straight men are almost equally driven by sex, gay men tend to be overt about it and can get away with it more. The way gay men tend to meet up isn't by common interest, although it does happen, the more common way is to judge how sexually attracted you are to someone. Gay men don't meet other men - at least a majority don't - at interest groups, at a university class, at a church, or at many places that straight guys pick up girls. Gay men pick up men almost exclusively at dating sites, bars, and hookup apps. Its a dynamic that is unique to the gay world in the proportion of how interactions occur.

I wouldn't call it being picky as much as just being a sexually oriented culture. And not that there is anything wrong with sex or being very oriented by sex, but it is what it is.

Best example I can think of is a friend of mine in the Falls. We were together one time in a group and someone came onto him that he didn't particularly find attractive. I thought the guy was attractive and would have loved the attention, but all day he complained over and over about how that freak was trying to be nice to him and in return my 'friend' was borderline verbally abusive to him... Yet some other guy he wanted to bang (and I did not find attractive) barely said hi and my 'friend' was all attentive and giving him his life story and how awesome he is. It was rather pathetic.

Gay men do have a knack for being conceited, to see such a nice guy be almost verbally thrashed just for being nice and then seeing the polar opposite really said more about my 'friend' than anything, hence why I don't hang out with said 'friend' that much anymore. Many gay guys are almost exclusively sexually oriented and can't see the forest for the trees. I admit I was like this when I was 20, but now that I am 30 I don't feel the same. Too many guys who are gay, as they age, don't throw away their teenage habits and mature into adults, which I think is why so many gay men are single into old age.

Although there's nothing wrong with sex if you're not in a relationship and you just need to get your rocks off and want to go for it. But I've always been the type of person not to understand why you bother being in a relationship if you're banging other people, it demeans the point of a relationship.

I've spent years trying to find boyfriends, and in my particular situation trying to find a willing partner to settle with, even marriage. But gay men I've met wouldn't have any level of responsibility to another human being, they are way too interested in being an individual who has no responsibilities to anything. If I were straight, I could have found a woman years ago who would have stood together with us as we forged our life, even if it were cross border.

But sex? Yea, that's easy and accessible anytime.

//rant over, and no it wasn't directed at you Chad even though I quoted you. Just some random thoughts and observations from my life...
No worries man I didn't think it was about me at all. I guess I am kindof like the douchebags you mentioned, as I am only 22... but I'm pretty sure I'm pretty level-headed for my age. I can't stand clubs or bullshit like Grindr and Manhunt. I know exactly the type of guy you are talking about when you mentioned your "friend" in Niagara, I've known a few too many of those. I always thought what me or my life would be like if I were straight... kinda makes me sad to imagine how much happier and fulfilled I could have been by this age... but doesn't stop me from trying to find love. I actually just started dating a guy a couple weeks ago, and because basically every gay dude in Calgary is an ass wipe, in a relationship, or emotionally recovering from being cheated on by an ex, the guy I'm dating lives 3 hours away. He's pretty great and looking for the real deal too. It is kind of different for me though as he is close to me in age (2 years older), has a 3 year old daughter, and an ex wife :S but he's super super sweet, caring, and cuddly. He's a firefighter and since they get every other week off he's a mechanic too. The only problem with it is that my being 22 fucks things up cause I'm still on the prowl for hot bears and cubs and what-not and he's not fully my type physically, though he's a pretty cute bear . The distance is actually a good thing though, because most dudes my age just jump right into something and can't be apart. Seeing each other on Wednesdays and Weekends is pretty good, makes cuddling and hanging out all the more meaningful I'm trying to get past my superficiality because he's the exact kinda guy I want to be with. I don't wanna let meaningless shit get in the way of spending my life with someone.

As far as gay villages and how depressing they are goes, yep. I used to feel really uncomfortable walking past the Timothy's at Church and Alexander when I was 16, all the 50 - 60+ year old poz men starring at me from their wheelchairs. I know that sounds like a rude brutal thing to say... but it was truly disconcerting. Out of the gay villages in the country... Vancouver's is pretty much the cleanest and least creepy. Calgary has it's own creepy section but it's segregated into the bar under the bathhouse. Some of them spill over into the Backlot every now and then though.
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