Calgary SSP gay life - Page 2

Chadillaccc · #21 Posted **Jan 10, 2013, 3:03 PM**

I would say the word "queer" is more akin to "negro" and fagg*t is more akin to the worse N word. Maybe some day soon fag will be referred to as the F word? That would be nice.

Homosexual is kinda just... you know... why say it? Gay is so much shorter and easier and more common, and means the same thing except when used in the 18th century context

. I dunno, just my two cents.

Oh yes and you can add me to the pile!

kw5150 · #22 Posted **Jan 10, 2013, 3:10 PM**

When I saw the word "homosexual" I was immediately worried. The only time I hear that is on that old 50's movie.

• Video Link

Chadillaccc · #23 Posted **Jan 10, 2013, 3:23 PM**

Oh my god. That is F*CKING CRAZY! lmao! Wow man. So propagandized, they didn't know anything!

I have this one army poster on my laptop, probably from Vietnam, and it's basically bashing gay soldiers and warning other soldiers not to let themselves be "recruited" into the dirty lifestyle or some crap. So mental

freeweed · #24 Posted **Jan 10, 2013, 4:05 PM**

Quote:

Originally Posted by UofC.engineer

My cousins live in Vancouver and everytime I visit there is one person in their group of friends that always remarks "Calgary is such a homophobic city, Vancouver is such a gay friendly city." I know they are just trying to get under my skin and bragging but it ALWAYS pisses me off. And I can't really back it up since I only had one openly gay friend but he sadly moved to Vancouver.

Calgary still retains its 50-year old reputation - and to be fair, there's a more-than-usual vocal minority here when it comes to homophobia. A lot of your stereotypical redneck types have gravitated here, and they still talk like it's the 50s when it comes to gender orientation. That crowd still makes jokes about "Indians" and treats their women like dirt, so they're equal opportunity bigots.

However, it's an extremely small minority. I've met more gay people since moving here than I ever knew in any other city, and most if not all gay folks that I know here say that Calgary is an extremely tolerant and accepting city. Several SSPers have said this as well over the years. Obviously nowhere is perfect, but from what I gather the average gay person here experiences very little homophobia. Certainly nothing like how folks from Vancouver or Toronto or Montreal perceive it, anyway.

Tarsus · #25 Posted **Jan 10, 2013, 5:13 PM**

Actually I normally use the term 'Gay', but I was just being formal because it was a post on SSP. I thought it was the correct thing to do.

I tried to change the name of the thread to Calgary SSP Gays, but no go.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rusty van Reddick

Actually my point was abou the archaic term "homosexual"... used as a noun. People don't do that just as they don't refer to black people as "negroes" and they don't refer to people from India as Hindustani as was once customary.

Chadillaccc · #26 Posted **Jan 10, 2013, 5:16 PM**

In my experience, Calgary has been pretty good as far as acceptance goes but a huge chunk of the guys here, especially between 18 and 30, are seriously crazy in one way or another... it probably has something to do with the oppressive nature of growing up gay in a conservative city, I had to deal with it(and the self-hatred that came with it) as well.

I will say this though, Calgary is the only city I have ever come close to having to beat the crap out of a couple red necks. They couldn't shut their mouths about my friend wearing a wig, so I almost had to take them all on... on the friggin C-train no less :S I had never experienced homophobia like that since leaving my hometown of Woodstock Ontario 5 years ago, was truly astonishing.

I think the "Vancouver is such a gay-friendly city" attitude comes from the fact that they have a village, a large area of the downtown peninsula where even closeted guys (IE. my ex) can feel safe holding their boyfriends hand and whatnot... plus there are multiple gay bars there in the village and also a few in other club areas in Vancity, plus one in New Westminster. Calgary only has 2 gay-specific bars left, so that could probably contribute to the propagation of Calgary not being a gay-friendly city.

Tarsus · #27 Posted **Jan 10, 2013, 5:18 PM**

Yeah, that gets old after a while. One of my relatives from Vancouver was commenting on people wearing Cowboy hats during stampede, and that she thought it was dumb. Her comment was "If you wore a cowboy hat here in Vancouver, everyone would stare at you and think you're an idiot"

My reply: In Calgary you can wear anything you want, including a cowboy hat, too bad Vancouver isn't as tolerant as Calgary.

Quote:

Originally Posted by UofC.engineer

That's awesome to hear!!! (The part I quoted and not the first part you mentioned)

My cousins live in Vancouver and everytime I visit there is one person in their group of friends that always remarks "Calgary is such a homophobic city, Vancouver is such a gay friendly city." I know they are just trying to get under my skin and bragging but it ALWAYS pisses me off. And I can't really back it up since I only had one openly gay friend but he sadly moved to Vancouver.

...Vancouver is a nice city but the people can be such pompous jackasses

Tarsus · #28 Posted **Jan 10, 2013, 5:22 PM**

Unfortunately that is more to do the changing times. It's not that acceptance of gays or the number of gays have gone down, but more to do with not needing gar bars and clubs anymore, no?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chadillaccc

Calgary only has 2 gay-specific bars left, so that could probably contribute to the propagation of Calgary not being a gay-friendly city.

Chadillaccc · #29 Posted **Jan 10, 2013, 5:25 PM**

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tarsus

Yeah, that gets old after a while. One of my relatives from Vancouver was commenting on people wearing Cowboy hats during stampede, and that she thought it was dumb. Her comment was "If you wore a cowboy hat here in Vancouver, everyone would stare at you and think you're an idiot"

My reply: In Calgary you can wear anything you want, including a cowboy hat, too bad Vancouver isn't as tolerant as Calgary.

Best comeback ever! haha, it's true though too! Vancouver can be pretty pompous You just learn to live with it after a year or so.

Big Sky · #30 Posted **Jan 10, 2013, 5:32 PM**

Most of the gays on SSP are drawn to here by the new Plensa scuplture!

Sorry guys, I couldn't help but post that!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Colin

Big Sky · #31 Posted **Jan 10, 2013, 5:33 PM**

I'm not gay myself, so correct me if I'm wrong, but I find people here in Calgary pretty tolerant of gays. I lived in the San Francisco area for 5 years, and surprisingly it felt less tolerant of gays. Not right in San Francisco proper, but in other parts of the bay area for sure.

Chadillaccc · #32 Posted **Jan 10, 2013, 5:34 PM**

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tarsus

Unfortunately that is more to do the changing times. It's not that acceptance of gays or the number of gays have gone down, but more to do with not needing gar bars and clubs anymore, no?

I've heard that idea tossed around quite a bit that because of apps like Grindr, Scruff, Growlr, etc.. that we just don't need the bars anymore cause now you just go online to find a hookup(gross

), and that most clubs are safe for gay guys and couples now... but if that were the case community wide (and by that I mean the whole north american gay world) than why hasn't it happened in Toronto, Vancouver or Montreal? I guess Vancouver has lost a couple bars, but after Odyssey closed, Oasis opened up. Calgary just keeps losing and losing bars and now all we're left with is the worst run club in the country run by the worst people I've ever had the misfortune of learning about, and the BackLot which I love but it's so small. Though, I have heard rumours that a group is looking for locations in the eastern Beltline to reopen the Eagle, and rumours about a new gay lounge/bar opening up too. So who knows, I guess.

DizzyEdge · #33 Posted **Jan 10, 2013, 5:41 PM**

Could be the case that in cities like Van, TO, and Montreal where there is a village, that it has a sort of critical mass where it would take a long time for that to fade away, but in Calgary where it never had more than randomly placed bars, it really never ended up with a critical mass to have continuity?

Chadillaccc · #34 Posted **Jan 10, 2013, 5:43 PM**

Quote:

Originally Posted by Big Sky

I'm not gay myself, so correct me if I'm wrong, but I find people here in Calgary pretty tolerant of gays. I lived in the San Francisco area for 5 years, and surprisingly it felt less tolerant of gays. Not right in San Francisco proper, but in other parts of the bay area.

Yeah but if you are going to compare the suburbs of the Bay area to the core city of the Calgary area than you should really be comparing them to our outlying cities, and San Fran to Calgary. Not to mention the fact that Oakland is a very impoverished city. I couldn't imagine San Jose being very homophobic though.

Surrealplaces · #35 Posted **Jan 10, 2013, 5:43 PM**

Could very well be. Calgary wasn't as tolerant 20 years ago, or even 10 years ago as it is now. It's changed a lot over a short period of time. My guess, and this is only a guess, is that in say..10 years the 18-30 years gay population in Calgary will be different.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chadillaccc

In my experience, Calgary has been pretty good as far as acceptance goes but a huge chunk of the guys here, especially between 18 and 30, are seriously crazy in one way or another... it probably has something to do with the oppressive nature of growing up gay in a conservative city, I had to deal with it(and the self-hatred that came with it) as well.

Big Sky · #36 Posted **Jan 10, 2013, 5:49 PM**

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chadillaccc

Yeah but if you are going to compare the suburbs of the Bay area to the core city of the Calgary area than you should really be comparing them to our outlying cities, and San Fran to Calgary. Not to mention the fact that Oakland is a very impoverished city. I couldn't imagine San Jose being very homophobic though.

I am comparing them. I live and work in the suburbs of Calgary, and lived and worked in the suburbs of San Francisco. It's hard to put my finger on the exact difference. It's not that San Jose and places like that are outwardly homophobic, it's that there's this underlying homophobia there that I don't see in Calgary, burbs or core.

Chadillaccc · #37 Posted **Jan 10, 2013, 6:14 PM**

Yes, Surreal, it probably will get a lot better within the next ten years. There's still a VAST amount of closet cases that need to take the chance and come out. I probably know more closet dudes here than gay dudes. It's wild, also a very uncommon thing I have never come across in my travels of Canada btw.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Big Sky

I am comparing them. I live and work in the suburbs of Calgary, and lived and worked in the suburbs of San Francisco. It's hard to put my finger on the exact difference. It's not that San Jose and places like that are outwardly homophobic, it's that there's this underlying homophobia there that I don't see in Calgary, burbs or core.

Oh okay, that is interesting! Perhaps it's just an American thing?

California has a lot of mormons, vehemently homophobic mormons... mormon lobbyists are responsible for the passage of Proposition 8 which is what re-illegalized gay marriage in the state. The first civil right to be taken away from a population in the developed world since Kristallnacht.

Big Sky · #38 Posted **Jan 10, 2013, 6:26 PM**

I dunno, possible. I can't quite put my finger on it, but it's a different feel than Calgary.
It could be because there is such a large gay population there. It was kind of like an us and them mentality at times. When I met people I could tell they were feeling me out to see if I was gay or not, and often once they found out you were straight, would warm up to you. I don't know exactly, just different than I have seen here.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chadillaccc

Oh okay, that is interesting! Perhaps it's just an American thing?

California has a lot of mormons, vehemently homophobic mormons... mormon lobbyists are responsible for the passage of Proposition 8 which is what re-illegalized gay marriage in the state. The first civil right to be taken away from a population in the developed world since Kristallnacht.

Chadillaccc · #39 Posted **Jan 10, 2013, 6:35 PM**

Wow... that sounds kinda scary. :S
Those type of people should just be transplanted to Texas or Iran or some other theocratic fascist state.

kw5150 · #40 Posted **Jan 10, 2013, 6:50 PM**

There are plenty of gay bashing incidents in Vancouver as well including the one recently shown in the media.

A friend and I were confronted by 5 drunk losers in Vancouver looking for Ecstasy. They assumed they could get it near a gay bar......I dont do that shit and when we told them they shouldnt do it either (my friend was a bit cheeky) it quickly turned into a brawl as they punched my friend in the face......lets just say my buddy was from a small town and weighs 200 pounds and he and I both stuck up for ourselves quite well. But I will never forget the guy trying to hold me from behind (while whispering "how do you like that faggot") while his friend wound up to punch me in the face. I dodged and then flipped him over onto the pavement.......but ya, there is definitely some shady haters in Vancouver as well...

I cant help but feel that being gay was going really well until gay marriage hit the media. I think that because of the new attention there has been an uprising is anti-gay sentiment. So when I see a page like this it alarms me, but now I see that it was only out of trying to be polite that the term homosexual was used. I also found it a bit archaic.
No worries

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chadillaccc

In my experience, Calgary has been pretty good as far as acceptance goes but a huge chunk of the guys here, especially between 18 and 30, are seriously crazy in one way or another... it probably has something to do with the oppressive nature of growing up gay in a conservative city, I had to deal with it(and the self-hatred that came with it) as well.

I will say this though, Calgary is the only city I have ever come close to having to beat the crap out of a couple red necks. They couldn't shut their mouths about my friend wearing a wig, so I almost had to take them all on... on the friggin C-train no less :S I had never experienced homophobia like that since leaving my hometown of Woodstock Ontario 5 years ago, was truly astonishing.

I think the "Vancouver is such a gay-friendly city" attitude comes from the fact that they have a village, a large area of the downtown peninsula where even closeted guys (IE. my ex) can feel safe holding their boyfriends hand and whatnot... plus there are multiple gay bars there in the village and also a few in other club areas in Vancity, plus one in New Westminster. Calgary only has 2 gay-specific bars left, so that could probably contribute to the propagation of Calgary not being a gay-friendly city.