Quote:
Originally Posted by Chadillaccc
Exactly. Every single person in my hometown thought it was like "Hey you're both gay so you should date"... uhm... I don't know if people realize but gay men are pretty much the most picky people in the world, and most masculine dudes can't stand the flamey ones, at least romantically.
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The difference in the gay world as opposed to the straight world is that while straight men are almost equally driven by sex, gay men tend to be overt about it and can get away with it more. The way gay men tend to meet up isn't by common interest, although it does happen, the more common way is to judge how sexually attracted you are to someone. Gay men don't meet other men - at least a majority don't - at interest groups, at a university class, at a church, or at many places that straight guys pick up girls. Gay men pick up men almost exclusively at dating sites, bars, and hookup apps. Its a dynamic that is unique to the gay world in the proportion of how interactions occur.
I wouldn't call it being picky as much as just being a sexually oriented culture. And not that there is anything wrong with sex or being very oriented by sex, but it is what it is.
Best example I can think of is a friend of mine in the Falls. We were together one time in a group and someone came onto him that he didn't particularly find attractive. I thought the guy was attractive and would have loved the attention, but all day he complained over and over about how that freak was trying to be nice to him and in return my 'friend' was borderline verbally abusive to him... Yet some other guy he wanted to bang (and I did not find attractive) barely said hi and my 'friend' was all attentive and giving him his life story and how awesome he is. It was rather pathetic.
Gay men do have a knack for being conceited, to see such a nice guy be almost verbally thrashed just for being nice and then seeing the polar opposite really said more about my 'friend' than anything, hence why I don't hang out with said 'friend' that much anymore. Many gay guys are almost exclusively sexually oriented and can't see the forest for the trees. I admit I was like this when I was 20, but now that I am 30 I don't feel the same. Too many guys who are gay, as they age, don't throw away their teenage habits and mature into adults, which I think is why so many gay men are single into old age.
Although there's nothing wrong with sex if you're not in a relationship and you just need to get your rocks off and want to go for it. But I've always been the type of person not to understand why you bother being in a relationship if you're banging other people, it demeans the point of a relationship.
I've spent years trying to find boyfriends, and in my particular situation trying to find a willing partner to settle with, even marriage. But gay men I've met wouldn't have any level of responsibility to another human being, they are way too interested in being an individual who has no responsibilities to anything. If I were straight, I could have found a woman years ago who would have stood together with us as we forged our life, even if it were cross border.
But sex? Yea, that's easy and accessible anytime.
//rant over, and no it wasn't directed at you Chad even though I quoted you. Just some random thoughts and observations from my life...